Saturday, June 2, 2012

Not Worth the Risk!


THE PURPLE TREE HOUSE
http://purpletreehouse.blogspot.com.au/
asks for humour


NOT WORTH THE RISK!

A young blonde mother with three little tots was chatting to a friend one day.
Said the friend ‘I’m surprised your family has turned out small this way!
You always hoped for lots of kids and yet you’ve only three!
You’ve changed your mind about motherhood, that I can clearly see.’
‘Well, not exactly’ said Blondie, ‘I always wanted ten,
But something I read in the paper made me change my mind again.
I read an article by someone with a lot of expertise
Who said ‘One in every four babies is bound to be born Chinese'!
*
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BONY BEAUTY

You're very graceful, I admit,
As you glide across the floor,
Walking along the cat-walk,
Deserving an encore.
And, yes, you're very beautiful,
With the requisite pointy chin,
But, oh, my little lovely,
You're really much too thin!

What does your boyfriend say at night,
When he hugs you on the couch?
When one of your bones digs into him
I bet he cries out 'Ouch!'
It quite gives me the jitters
To see your ribs protrude
As I am sitting picturing you
Parading in the nude.
Those hips must jut like blades of steel,
Your stomach must cave-in!
Oh, my little lovely,
You're really much too thin!

I wonder, do you realise,
That you are just a fad.
You are a fashion, sweetie pie,
Akin to the shoulder-pad.
When Reubens painted women
They were always full of flesh,
Not like some starving lady
From Bengal or Bangladesh.
Starving when you don't have to
Is almost like a sin,
Oh, my little lovely,
You're really much too thin!


And, yes, of course you laugh at them,
As they stand there, unattired,
But these were the shapes, in Reuben's day,
That enamoured and inspired.
They've been consigned to history,
And you will find, my sweetie,
That you'll go out of fashion
When mens' tastes turn to the meatie.
A nice neat average figure
Is always sure to win,
And, oh, my little lovely,
You're really much too thin!
*

4 comments:

Karen S. said...

Your writing and humor are always a treat, and how do you ever find so many cool photos too!

Bodhirose said...

Really enjoyed these two "funnies"...except some of those models really are too thin..not so funny, eh?

MARGARET GOSDEN 2 said...

But they do earn a lot of money and may be it is not for long. I would rather choose to be a Twiggy for a while than sit for lascivious painters!

The Blue Sky said...

funny images.

well done humor.