Admit it! You've done it and so have I.....
Told that xenobombulation lie.
Pretended to sickness rather than
Face something unpleasant, like a man!
Malingering is its other name.
It's Human Nature that's to blame.
As a very small child you clutched your tummy
Saying 'No school, please, Mummy!'
Yes, we've all turned that little trick;
Writhing around and playing sick.
We'd get a nasty pain in the chest
Whenever the class was due a test.
A headache would rear it's ugly head
And we'd spend a blissful day in bed.
But parents very soon recognise
Little children's malingering lies.
That doesn't stop us trying it on
When our youthful days have gone.
Being clever, the day before,
We complain that our throat is sore,
Paving the way with a cough or two
Timed for when the boss walks through.
Our voice, on the phone, when we call next day,
Is weak and rasping and fades away.
Admit it! This little scenario,
This fabrication of wilting woe,
Seems to come very naturally
To everybody, including me.
But now there's a new word you can use
When trying-on the malingering ruse.
'I'm xenobombulated today!'
That is all you need to say.
You'll blind them with science and know no shame
As you spend the day at the football game!
How does this shot affect you?
Could you be the man in red?
Or do you picture yourself up there
And shy away with dread?
I find that I'm fascinated
Even though I am repelled!
My skin crawls with apprehension
And the fear will not be quelled.
I don't think that it's vertigo;
I can take heights as a rule.
And my school-marm side is adamant
That the man in red's a fool!
It's just that I know, were I up there,
I'd be drawn to that empty space!
I'd see myself floating off the cliff
With elegance and grace!
I can hardly look at the picture
And yet I can't look away!
I wonder how it affects you!
Do you feel the same way?