Sunday, June 12, 2011

Fat Chance!



GRANDMA'S GOULASH
chose the illustration

FAT CHANCE!

A couple of midde-aged geese
Were getting to be quite obese.
Said the husband 'My sweet,
We must watch what we eat,
Or we'll melt in a puddle of grease.'

*

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MELODRAMATIC INTENSITY!

A Melodrama's a stage play performed with intensity!
Lots of over-acting and insensitivity!
The bad is always intensely bad, the good intensely good!
Real life is so much more sedate..... usually......touch wood!
I've a 'melodramatic' hobby! I write them just for fun.
I find it very satisfying staging them when they're done.
The characters are black and white, cardboard cut-outs, it's true,
With very little resemblance to me or even you!
The Villain is always ghastly, without an ounce of charm,
About to steal the lovely damsel's only possession, the farm.
The damsel is always a virgin, impossibly demure,
And, of course, she has an admirer, whose approach is always pure.
There's always an older woman, who's jealous as can be,
And someone unknown who's listening, lurking behind a tree.
A policeman has to feature; he's often rather dim,
But often the lovely virgin falls madly in love with him.
It's good to have a yokel, who just wanders on the stage
And drives the nasty villain into a wild and venemous rage.
Every play is different, but, unless you want a flop,
The parts are always acted completely 'over the top'.
I add an audience singalong, which always goes down well,
And the people in the audience are requested to give a yell,
Shouting out a 'You tell him, love!' or maybe 'Hiss' or 'Boo!',
Or maybe 'Oh dear!' when someone dies, as they quite often do!
It's 'good clean fun' , (well, almost clean) for those of us who act,
And audiences laugh a lot and clap too, that's a fact.
I suppose it's all old-fashioned, and really a dying art,
But, should you come to Australia, I'll see you get a part!
*

13 comments:

MARGARET GOSDEN 2 said...

That is a wonderful summary of what you do! And, who knows, I may take you up on that, although a fantasy at this point!

jabblog said...

Can a goose ever be too fat?

It's as much, or more, fun to act in one of these melodramas as it is to be part of the audience.

Sonia Lal said...

cute poem. middle aged geese . . . just strikes me as funny for some reason

Kay L. Davies said...

Wonderful, Brenda, both the puddle of goose grease, and the melodrama. And only too true, both of them. LOL
— K

Kay, Alberta, Canada
An Unfittie's Guide to Adventurous Travel

Helen said...

Clever rhyme - I'm in Oz as well!

Lisa Ricard Claro said...

Your limerick is terrific and reads like a nursery rhyme; and your Melodramatic Intensity is also fun to read.

Pat said...

Hahahah!! Loved the limerick...too funny.

I enjoy seeing melodramas and I loved your poem about them--you hit the nail on the head, as you always do.

Pooch said...

So very clever!! Really enjoy the whole premise! Good on you!
:)

tanyavalentine said...

I love a MM that makes me think "Ewww!" at the end. :-)

Anyes said...

He's right that's not too appetizing, she will listen and watch what they are eating ;-)

Susan Fobes said...

They don't look that fat to me-LOL! Nice...

Grandma's Goulash said...

Loved your mf rhyme. They'd better diet or I think their goose is cooked.

Sharkbytes said...

Very clever, and the title is perfect.