Yippee!

EASY STREET PROMPTS

http://www.easystreetprompts.com/
'RETIREMENT'

YIPPEE!

The Retirement Village was all agog! A new man had arrived!

And, since a single man was rare, the ladies were deprived.

Cynthia couldn't contain herself; she rushed to the gentleman's side

Quickly she asked to know his name which was, incidentally, Clyde.

'Where have you moved from?' Cynthia said, her cheeks a pretty pink.

'Well' said Clyde 'Just yesterday they let me out of clink.'

'What were you there for?' Cynthia said, looking quite wide-eyed.

'Sadly, I was in prison because my third wife died.'

'Oh, how sad!' said Cynthia, drawing-in her breath;

'And how......?' And he replied 'I strangled her to death.'

'Then what about your second wife?' 'I shot her with a gun;

I simply found her conversation wasn't too much fun'.

' It's all so sad' said Cynthia. 'What about the third?'

'I pushed her off a balcony; she died without a word'.

Suddenly Cynthia felt quite warm, in fact all of a tingle.

And she shouted over to her friend

'Yoohoo, Beatie! He's single!'

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                   Gerald Gee

AS RED AS IT GETS!


The splash of blood in Gerald's cartoon
Is as red as plum jam in a spoon.
It shows up scarlet, brilliant, bright,
Because the victim's clothes are white!
Think of the uniforms of old!
Ruby red and blazing bold.
Think a while and you'll understand
Why that colour was in demand!
When a man was hit and blood had spurted
His fellow soldiers were disconcerted!
As it dribbled, soaked and oozed
Other men became confused.
'We never thought of blood!' they brayed,
'But this sight's made us quite afraid!
We think we might lay down our arms!
That red has raised some loud alarms!
All the red that I can see
Makes me think it could be me!'
But, on a coat already red,
No-one could see old Tom had bled!
'Let's face the enemy with aplomb!
Nothing's the matter with our friend, Tom!'
Of course, those very crafty Boers
Could see red clearly out of doors.
They chose to wear a khaki shade
And what a sensible choice they made!
Red uniforms were mad, they felt,
If one were fighting on the 'veld'.
The rest is history, as they say,
Soldiers wear khaki to this day!
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