I have very often stated
That I think linen over-rated!
True it has a 'posh' cache
As though its wearers hope to say
'Look well! I can afford the best!
My taste is better than the rest!
Synthetic clothes may fit the bill
For those whose bank account is 'nil',
But I look smart in the Real McCoy.
Linen means I'm not hoi polloi!
Only natural fibres pass
For people from the Upper Class!'
Then you stand up and oh the creases!
Your superiority ceases!
Your skirt's all wrinkled where you've sat
Having a pleasant little chat.
Your coat is crumpled too, quite clearly!
A tawdry, drab thing ...... very nearly!
You smooth yourself, to no avail;
The creases simply still prevail,
While we, synthetically adorned,
We, the previously scorned,
Rise, unblemished, from our seats!
Especially those who're 'linen cheats',
Those who've chosen man-made cloth,
Impervious to crease or moth;
(Looking like linen but sort of 'mock';
A modern skirt or blouse or frock.)
Dearie me! Those silly women
Who're setting so much store by linen!
Mother passed along the landing, saw her daughter's open door.
Stood amazed to see the neatness! Not a thing upon the floor!
Every item neat and tidy, every feature spick and span!
This was so unlike her Mandy! A scruffy girl since her life began!
Then she saw her daughter's pillow, and on the pillow a folded note.
With shaking fingers she displayed it! What were the words that Mandy wrote?
The worst of all her fears were realised! This was , indeed, a dreadful text!
She read one line, then read another! What on earth was coming next?
'Dear Mummy! I have news to tell you. I have run away for good.
I am living in a hovel deep inside a distant wood.
I am living with my lover; he's a man of sixty-three.
You may think this quite excessive, but it seems alright to me.
He has some children he's supporting; he's been married several times.
And he's just come out of prison; he's committed minor crimes.
I agree, there's not much money, but I can work I'm very strong!
I'm fifteen, so I'll support him! We are sure to get along!
Once the baby's born he'll mind it while I work to earn a crust.
Abdul will be such a father! He is someone I can trust.
He's got AIDS but not too badly; he can cultivate our plot;
Already he has done a good job! We've got our own supply of pot!
Goodbye to all my friends and family! Don't search for me! I've gone to ground.
Thank you for my happy childhood! Believe me, I shall not be found!'
Mother reeled away in horror! Gone was all her happiness!
Then she saw some further writing! Mandy had added a P.S.!
'When you read my school report you'll see the awful marks I've got.
I know that you'll be disappointed because you'll see I've failed the lot!
But, compared with what I've written things are really not too bad.
I'm next-door! When you've recovered I'll come home to you and Dad!'