Decode!

DECODE!

To understand what I have written

Hasten to find the useful key!

It's very simple I assure you! 

So try it, that's my ardent plea!
I want to tell you something vital
Secretly and in a code
As you, I know, are very brainy,
Make mincemeat of this simple mode!
Every single line is vital;
Sentences give many a clue;
Subtle nuances excite you
And I do mean YOU! Yes YOU!
Go on! Make a bit of effort!
Easy? Well of course! Indeed!
Why even children in the classroom
Immediately laugh and read!

Think now!  Yes! You've nearly got it!
Hang on! Nearly at the end!
Oh dear! It's given you a headache!
Until you work it out, my friend,

That's the way it will affect you!
Admit you haven't got a clue!

Perhaps you need a shot of whiskey?
Unless  of course you're needing two!
Really! I am disappointed!

Perhaps you're actually a dunce!
Oh well, since you are addle-pated,
Secrecy wont work this once!
End
*

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THE GAME OF THE NAME


Fred and George sat playing cards. They were friends from way, way back.
And. like a lot of older folk, they couldn't quite keep track
Of times and names and places and of peoples' birthday dates.
So picture them...... Fred plays a card and George just contemplates.
After five minutes silence Fred notices the pause.
He looks up at his old friend just to ascertain the cause.
'It's your turn, George' he tells him. 'What's taking you so long?
You're looking sort of puzzled. Are you sure that nothing's wrong?'
George looks a mite embarrassed; you can see he's thinking hard,
He still shows some discomfort and he doesn't play a card.
'Come on, old chap' Fred almost snaps, 'We haven't got all day!'
George gulps and says ' My dear old friend! I don't know what to say......
I hate to sit here puzzling when I should enjoy the game,
But you see it's like this.....I'm afraid I can't recall your name!
It seems absurd to ask your name when I've known you all my life,
But please , old mate, tell me your name. I really am in strife....'
George looks up from the table ; his words are rather slow....
' One question, George' he finally says..... "How soon do you need to know?'
*