Gerald Gee
MELLOW YELLOW MONDAY
NO MAN IS AN ISLAND
I am a feminist through and through but I'm hopelessly impractical
So how do I accomplish things? Well it's often problematical.
First catch the husband off his guard, admitting work is needed,
Then pounce, suggesting time and place, to ensure your words are heeded.
The conversations go like this......' That bush is in the wrong place.'
'I'll move it sometime' (that is him, with a bored look on his face.)
Three days later 'I thought you said that bush should be over there?'
His response....'Did I say that?' Mine.....'Yes, I was there.'
Several days later I remark 'What a lovely sunny day!
The perfect day to move that bush!' (See how I get my way!)
'I don't think it needs moving!' Is this a rear-guard action?
'You said it did!' Oh dearie me! He's making a retraction!
'Oh for goodness sake!' He's rather peeved, but picking up a spade!
The bush is moved! The deed is done! The situation's saved!.
But look at the yellow island to see what happens next!
No wonder the poor old husband is looking a little vexed!
*
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BIRTHDAY TEA
Hear her say 'For goodness sake!
You ought to know I don't like cake!
You waltz in here, proud as you please,
When I'd much prefer a hunk of cheese!
I haven't got a sweet-tooth, dear!
How many times I've made that clear!
Alright, it took a whole afternoon!
Alright, young Edwin licked the spoon!
Alright, you're feeling quite worn out!
Alright, dear! There's no need to pout!
I'll cut the cake, will that satisfy you?
I trust that that will pacify you!
And yes, I'll actually eat a slice,
But only one, that will suffice.
Just a crumb with tea in a cup.
But I can't promise I wont throw-up!
Icing is so sweet and sickly!
Maybe if I eat it quickly!
Cake crumbs under my lower plate!
I've told you that's something that I hate!
Why! This cake isn't even decorated!
And where are the candles? Not located!
Cakes look nice when the icing's pink.
Pink's a good colour for cakes, I think.
What's that dear? You prefer white?
Well, if you're happy, that's alright.
A cake without candles! What a farce!
And where's my name? Well, I'll let that pass.
I bet there will be some mishap!
There! I've dropped some on my lap!
What a birthday! Was it too hard
To send your mother a birthday card?
You sent an email! Fair enough!
You know I hate that new-fangled stuff!
Now of course there's the little question
Of Mummy getting indigestion!
My pills, silly girl, in the top drawer there!
Sometimes I think you don't even care.
Are you going? Well, toodle-oo!
Yes, my darling, I love you too!
*
2 comments:
I love the bush-moving discussion, especially in conjunction with the cartoon.
And the birthday cake monologue. TOO funny.
-- K
Kay, Alberta, Canada
An Unfittie's Guide to Adventurous Travel
It is cool entry. Happy mellow yellow Monday.
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