Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Sour Grapes!


MAGPIE TALES
SOUR GRAPES!

I've never won a trophy in my life!
And the time for winning trophies has long gone.
Even though I've been 'The World's First Super-Wife',
There's been no little mug to write it on!
How I've envied all the winners that I've met,
With their shelves packed tight with tokens of success!
It's been my lot to merely gaze and fret
Considering my awful lowliness.
They didn't give out trophies for the girl
Who no-one ever wanted on their team!
Who couldn't leap or dive or toss or hurl,
And who toppled off the lowest balance-beam!
The 'Booby Prize' was only that in name;
There never was a trophy presentation!
I merely hung my head and burned with shame
Brooding about my woeful situation.
But they tell me trophies have to be preserved!
To keep them bright demands some elbow-greasing!
The winners of the past must be un-nerved
When their trophy-care continues on un-ceasing!
I see them now..... all polishing and buffing
To keep their rows of trophies shiny bright!
They're old now, so they're huffing and they're puffing,
With silver-polish, morning, noon and night!
I'd hate to have to get up every day
To continue with the toil of preservation!
I'd rather live my life the Losers' way
Enjoying lots of old-age relaxation!
*
----------------------------------------------------------------------


TEST OF ENDURANCE!

I knew we were over the hill, but I just didn't know how far
Till, one night, I looked at Eddie and saw he was a star!
We hadn't made love for months and months, I thought we'd forgotten how,
But, suddenly, I got the urge and I knew the time was 'Now!'
He was busy reading the paper, his specs on the end of his nose;
I went and sat on the arm of his chair, in rather a sexy pose.
'Let's go upstairs, darling' I murmured in his ear.
I think I made my message unusually crystal clear!
Eddie looked rather startled at the idea of bedroom fun.
'Walk upstairs? Make love as well?....... I can only manage ONE!'
*

19 comments:

Brigid said...

Oh, thanks for the laughs on your double fun stories, so right about wasting all that elbow grease.
Love the stairs one!!

Cad said...

I'm still waiting for Ada to get the urge! LOL ;)

madamebutterfly said...

Loved your Magpie and the second one had me in stitches!

Lois Evensen said...

That second one is just darling. I love it!

Teresa said...

Wonderful as always! I too never won an award, and I can literally strike out at T-ball. Loved this.

Caty said...

LOL! I always enjoy my visits here and love the way your poems flow, always finding fun and humor when I stop by.

Kristen Haskell said...

Sour Grapes tickles my funny bone :)

Steve said...

These both gave me such a giggle...
Thank you. I too am glad i do not possess a shelf full of trophies.
If i did they would be tarnishing gracefully... just like me...

R. Burnett Baker said...

Sour grapes?? I don't think so. More like a positive attitude and example of endurance. For that alone, YOU get the trophy!

Enjoyed this poem!

Rick

kathew said...

what a hoot- hope he managed both!

kaykuala said...

Hey, you've got it made Brenda! Never seen a 'make-believe loser' turned around being a champ. Hilarious! Your humour and wit is fantastic

Coloring Outside the Lines said...

So funny Brenda- thanks for the giggles today.

Helen said...

You are funny, have deep insights .. and are thoroughly delightful to read!

Berowne said...

Very clever rhyming, and with meaning.

Kay L. Davies said...

Oh, super, Brenda. All that elbow-greasing in the first one cracked me up. Maybe they have them encased in plastic wrap.
And the second one. Do both? I can't walk up the stairs AND do the other! Boy, do I know that feeling. LOL
-- K

Kay, Alberta, Canada
An Unfittie's Guide to Adventurous Travel

Jingle said...

I know what you are talking about.
it is hard not to be a soul grape.
remarkable tale..

My Magpie

has some awards/treats in it, have fun and enjoy the blog love.

Tumblewords: said...

elbow grease and stairways. Laughing - these are nifty reads!

Kavita said...

Seriously, who needs all that extra work!!! Not me :))
Who says that the grass is greener on the other side! I say it's fine right here! :))

LOVED your poem... it was funny, meaningful and so easy to digest! Not at all sour ;-)

Pat transplanted to MN said...

well the"sour grapes" is a good title. This shows different ways of looking at things, or the rest of the story! Your poem for the Magpie prompt shows the advantage of not winning! An interesting perspective, and this shows there is always something good to be found in whatever happens!