Oh Virginia! Virginia! That you should come to this!
A tea-towel in your name! What degradation!
Surely someone, somewhere has been very much remiss,
Placing you in a domestic situation!
You'd rather be off 'To the Lighthouse' or to Sissinghurst, perhaps,
Or merely in your study, busy writing.
You'd surely find this travesty a really tasteless lapse,
Though we might find its nuances inviting.
Were you alive, I wonder what your attitude would be
If you entered Shirley's kitchen and espied
This item which speaks loudly of crass publicity,
Something I'm sure you just could not abide!
It's a very pretty colour, I think you would admit,
And at least your name is proudly on display,
But I feel you'd be quite haughty and purse your lips a bit
Saying 'Kindly throw the wretched thing away.'