Saturday, August 8, 2009

Weighty Matter!


Bet was at Mascot Airport
Where many have been before
And she chanced to see a weighing machine
Which gave a compelling score.
Not only did it show the weight
But it added information,
Such as the colour of one's hair
And one's future destination.
Bet stood upon the weighing machine
And read the card it spat-out,
Saying, with wonder, to herself
'How did it work that out?'
The card reported 'You are blonde;
Sixty K's you weigh,
And you're off to visit your Mum in Perth.
Goodbye! Have a nice day!'
Bet was completely mystified
For every bit was true!
Feeling duped and sceptical
She decided what to do.
'If I disguise myself' she thought,
'And use the machine again,
I bet it doesn't get it right!
We'll see who's silly then!'
So she bought dark glasses for her eyes,
 And a wig, deep chestnut brown
And she bought new clothes and carried her case
Which really weighed her down.
She went into the Ladies' Room
And made the transformation.
She emerged a totally different Bet
Into the busy station.
Once more she crossed the platform,
And stood on the machine,
Knowing she didn't look like Bet,
More like a Sue or Jean.
She put her coin in the slot,
To see what the card would say,
But when she read this message
She fainted right away!
It said 'You're blonde and sixty Ks!
With a very little brain!
I've made an alteration.....

You've just missed your plane!'

Another travel horror-story here:


Darlene said...

This is far funnier than any joke I have ever read. It is so clever that it really should be in a book of humorous rhymes. You have a wonderful sense of humor, Brenda.

Patty said...

Good one. Have a happy week-end.

quilly said...

LOL! You just keep getting better and better!

Mariana Soffer said...

Very intersting, I would say that the future is already here (although not for good)

DawnTreader said...

You really have a talent for this. Good twist at the end! :)

Mari Meehan said...

I know one day I will have to fly again but I'm not looking forward to it!

Sunny said...

I can't tell you how much I look forward to reading your poems. You have a wonderful imagination!
Sunny :)

Kat said...

even machines take a swipe....

You are blonde;

Tom said...

greatness! I believe I'll give it a go this week.

Brian Miller said...

lol. what a good chuckle. fun magpie!

The Muse said...

what a joy!
this would be delightful in tourist mag.
nice twist and turns! :)

chiccoreal said...

Who knew that those old weigh scales found back in the day would promote premontion to this degree. A old/new form of Artificial Intelligence? Creepy Orwellian vibe here. Love it!

Tess Kincaid said...

This is too cute. Love it!

spacedlaw said...


Vicki Lane said...

Very funny! Great ending!

Vicki Lane said...

Too clever! Great ending!

steviewren said...

Love the ending! Such fun to read. I'm loving Magpie days.

Anonymous said...

This was wonderful. I am loving this writing project. Laughs, tears, mystery, humor. We are a bunch of weirdos having a fun time.

Peter Goulding said...

Oh very clever and well-paced!

Jennifer said...

Loved it! Great fun to read out loud.