Friday, August 7, 2009

Cramping my Style!

(I regret that these legs are not mine!)

A cry from the heart!


Picture Brenda, fast asleep.
Sleep is dreamless, calming, deep.
The situation soon will worsen
For that poor old 'rinkly' person!
Suddenly she shoots upright
In the middle of the night.
Agony! It's come again!
She is quite engulfed by pain.
Left leg stiff as any plank!
See her give her calf a yank.
See her wriggle, moan and writhe!
(She who once was oh so blithe!) 
See her gnawing on her lips!
She really feels she's had her chips.
A groggy leap down to the floor!
Not too agile that's for sure.
See her march and walk and stamp.
Anything to shift the cramp.
Tears have come into her eyes.
The muscle still looks twice its size!
Now she sits down on the bed,
Pulling up her toes instead!
Pulls them far as they will go!
Does that help at all? Oh no!
Massage now, that's good to try.
Now she kneads, with a whimpering cry.
Will she ever get relief?
She's biting on a handkerchief!
Suddenly there's relaxation.
The leg goes limp.Oh jubilation!
Back to her bed she crawls, misused,
With a leg that's feeling battered, bruised.
A leg that tomorrow will still feel sore,
But at least it's not knotted any more.
Dear Bloggers, do you know a cure?
I can do with one for sure!

An Australian cure-all (but not for cramp) here:


Sunny said...

Oh my heavens! I have laughed 'til I almost cried! I have suffered with leg cramps all my life and they're not funny but your poem is! Quinine will get rid of them, if you can get that where you are.
Sunny :)

Amias (ljm and liquidplastic) said...

Ouch! Change the name to Amias .. I know how that feels! Quinine, huhhh .. I am going to look that up.

Dr.John said...

Having been there many a night I didn't know if I should laugh or cry.
This is poetry catching the human condition.
Well done.

Darlene said...

I have leg cramps and can certainly commiserate with you. Potassium is necessary to help with cramps and I eat a banana every day.

Other than walking it out and pulling your toes toward your knees (which you have done) I don't know of anything else to do.

quilly said...

Oh my love suffers from this! Although your poem is quite light-hearted, I know it truly isn't funny.

Kat said...

heart goes out to you, on the crampy matters...

so sweetly poemed..!!