Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Exhibitionist!



MAD KANE
supplied the first line

EXHIBITIONIST!

A lady who went through a phase
Of enjoying the masculine gaze,
Decided to tease
And threw off her chemise
And walked through the town in her stays!
*
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THE HORNET'S NEST

The girl who kicked the hornet's nest was surely ill-advised!
When they flew out and stung her, why was she surprised?
That she was in a nasty mood just cannot be denied,
But it would have more sensible if she'd sat down and cried!
So Archie Tonks had turned her down! There are worse things for sure!
For after all, poor Archie Tonks was something of a bore!
So she couldn't go to the Prom that night? Her pretty dress was wasted?
She wouldn't meet the other girls? The wine would not be tasted?
But why dash into the forest as though by fiends pursued
And find a hornet's nest to kick? Her attitude was skewed!
For millions of hornets swarmed about and stung her on the face! 
The knees and arms and nose and chin and every other place!
She fled home wailing bitterly, in terrible distress,
Looking scarlet and blotchy, in fact an awful mess!
She looked exactly like a clown! She'd stay that way for days!
She staggered up to her front door in a very painful daze!
Mother met her at the door and suggested embrocation,
But her words were not inclined to help in easing the situation.
'You've had a call' said Mother; said the girl 'Who was it from?'
'From the Captain of the football team! He wants to take you to the Prom!'
*

2 comments:

Mama Zen said...

These are both excellent.

Madeleine Begun Kane said...

LOL! Fun verse! Thanks so much for another funny contribution to my Limerick-Offs!