Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Bling Bling!



Elvira de la Porteus was wearing on her back
A rather shapeless garment just a little like a sack!
The only hint of fashion was a red rose at the waist,
Designed to show that she was still a lady of great taste.
I was amazed because, my dears, Elvira is so rich!
She's also (but don't tell a soul) a really nasty bitch.
She'd been driven to my studio in the family limousine,
The smartest most expensive car that I had ever seen.
 She swept into my rooms as though she thought she owned the place
And felt that I was just a blot upon the human race!
'Before you start' Elvira said, 'I have a tale to tell.
Let's start with the fact that, yesterday, I wasn't feeling well.
We were actually entertaining guests, one of them Rosy Coutts,
You know the one, the model with the obvious.....attributes.
Laughingly I just remarked I could possibly be dying;
Of course I was only slightly ill; I was joking! I was lying!
But the glance that passed between those two, my husband and that Rosy,
Was, how can I describe it, a great deal more than cosy!
Suddenly I realised that he hoped my death was due
And he was already lining-up little wife number two!'
I butted in 'Dear lady, what has this to do with me?'
Said Elvira 'Paint a portrait of me in my jewelry!'
'But you're not wearing any!' I voiced my consternation.
'I'm giving you your best chance yet to use your imagination!
Paint me in a glorious gown, up-market haut couture,
Although the dress itself will be a backdrop, that's for sure.
Then go town on jewelry! Let it drip, and drop and drape,
Let it fall across my shoulders like a diamond-encrusted cape!
Let pearls cascade around my neck and reach down to my waist
Let rubies shine on bracelets and never resemble paste!
And let the ear-rings that you paint me be weighted down with gold
With precious gems of every sort nestling in every fold.
Of course, I must look beautiful, that's easy as can be,
But I want the jewels to outshine the beauty that is me!'
'Why on earth.....?' I started but she quickly cut me short.
' Ever since yesterday, my friend, I've given the matter thought.
I'll hang the portrait on my wall and, should I die one day,
 Rosy Coutts will no doubt call and no doubt she will stay!
She'll see the jewels that you paint! She'll want, them I'll be bound!
And wont I have the last laugh!
 She'll discover they can't be found!'



Any old cloud can be fluffy!
Any old cloud can be plump.
But I want to be a dagger
And aim for that old tree stump!
Any old cloud can billow
And just sort of hang around!
But I want to be a dagger
And aim myself at the ground.

Our Melodrama show at Cardiff today (not the Welsh one!) was one of our best, chiefly because we had such a tremendous audience. They really joined in the fun and the men were great sports. We'd go back there any day!

This is one of my favourite shots. The 'girls' are supposed to be dead but they all got the giggles.

And here we are, waving goodbye at the end of the show.

1 comment:

Liz said...

Looks like you had so much fun.

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