Friday, January 28, 2011

Injuries!


INJURIES!

The British have 'stiff upper lips'; they're good at fortitude.
They treat decapitation as a little interlude!
See how this jolly fellow smiles! He's definitely British!
The more he's pierced and knifed and cut the more he's growing skittish!
His foot's on fire! He's lost both legs! And his arms aren't too secure!
As for his head, it's been attacked by something like a skewer!
I see he's hanging by the neck! No wonder he's kaput!
His insides seem to be falling out! And a nail has pierced his foot!
I see there are 'illustrations'! I bet they're pretty gory!
'Read all about it!' Yes, indeed!
It's the gaping-inside story!
*
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MUST YOU?

When did all this kissing start
(Of which I don't want any part)?
When did the stern and steady Brits
Start these kissy-kissy fits?
When was it that this double-kissing
Filled a void we'd not been missing.
I like my friends, I'm even fond,
But kissy-kiss goes quite beyond
All that's required of any greeting!
Oh the joy of a smiling meeting!
Half the time they kiss the air
Or get a mouthful of my hair!
When I'm approached by pouting lips,
Something inside me sort of flips!
I back away (though it's not polite)
While uttering welcomes of delight!
Hypocrisy is my undoing
When it comes to all this friendly 'wooing'.
Not brave enough to say 'Get off!'
I give a little nervous cough,
Pretend I'm otherwise engaged,
And no doubt leave the 'friend' enraged.
The French have always kissed like this;
They invented the kissy-kiss.
They're used to offering 'the other cheek'
But I feel quite a sense of pique
When good old Brits get Frenchified
And kissy-kiss from side to side.
Next time,(my strategy is planned....),
I'm going to damn well shake your hand!
*

8 comments:

Kat said...

MUST YOU: They should declare that the "flying kiss" as the only official one and ban all other types :-)))

Debra said...

FUNNY! :)

Debra said...

Quite Funny! :)

Judie said...

Brenda, once again you have entertained us with your wonderful sense of "Rimes!!" Hope you are improving, health-wise, every day!!

edenhills said...

Funny! I did enjoy these!

anitamombanita said...

keeping us laughing, you are!

Ames said...

He's smiling. Doesn't he feel any pain?

I think I'd rather hug or shake hands than recieve an air kiss. Love how it rhymes!~Ames

Jenny said...

I'm grinning like crazy from your innovative "I" post!

Thank you Brenda! These were both just what I needed today!

Thanks for the link and the smile.

A+