Saturday, April 9, 2011

Australian Autumn



 
ONE STOP POETRY
suggests we attempt some poetic form that is new to us. This is my try at a triolet.

AUSTRALIAN AUTUMN

The days draw in, the air grows cool,
The sun has grown a paler yellow.
A mist lies on the garden pool,
Where brilliant blue has been the rule;
The earth rewinds it's yearly spool,
The air is gentler, soft and mellow.
The days draw in, the air grows cool,
The sun has grown a paler yellow.
*

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COILED

Coiled like a snake in the sun,
Reflecting the brilliance.
Summer.
*

10 comments:

okoatokewa - the poet said...

This is a lovely poem Blenda, it echoes emotions. Great rhyme, don't know much about triolet but I am learning about it from u seeing words like yellow, cool, thanks for sharing this.

Hope said...

you've described Autumn perfectly!

I will have to try this form.

wonderful write! love the photo's!

Catherine Mackie said...

Brenda... hello from chilly Johannesburg.

I love both the poems... Could feel the seasons. Is the 2nd one any particular form? Or is it just as you wrote it...

Kerry O'Connor said...

Ah, at last another person who can fully appreciate the Autumn months of April (while the rest of the world seems gaga about Spring!)
I love this poem, especially the line:
The earth rewinds it's yearly spool...

Penny said...

A brilliant triolet. This form would give me nightmares if I let it. You've made it look easy!

repressedsoul said...

Great attempt on a triolet! The fourth line should be the repeat refrain apart from that your rhythm and lines are bang on! Loved the summery feel you gave this little dance too :)

Brian Miller said...

ah a beautiful triolet you captured the essence of autumn

Beachanny said...

Lovely triolet..we have the right to alter it here and there. You added a couple of anapests and reshaped a line to make it sing warmer and more autumnal. Quite beautiful!

Greyscale Territory said...

I don't believe it! We both tried a triolet on Autumn! Your poem is very descriptive of autumn's feel! beautiful!

Pete Marshall said...

i really enjoyed reading that...as summer as just kicking in in my part of the world it was refreshing to cast my mid back, very well captured and written..cheers pete