Abstinence

THREE WORD THURSDAY
http://www.threewordwednesday.com/2010/08/3ww-cciii.html

'abstain, prayer, halo'.

ABSTINENCE!

I'll abstain from prayer for a while.

This halo is not my style!

I prayed for one

(Something rarely done

By the human rank and file)!

*

It arrived at once in the post

But, before I could even boast,

I found my prize

Wasn't quite my size

So I wrote to the Holy Ghost.....

*

And I said 'The halo you sent

Has filled me with discontent;

It slips over my ears!

How odd it appears!

It's not quite the type I meant!'

*

I knew that I couldn't win,

So I chucked the whole thing in.

I stopped being good

(Well, you knew that I would)

And went back to a life of sin!

*

--------------------------------------------------------------

PICKING LEMONS

I saw her coming up the hill,

Mature but still attractive.

Not young, not old, just in between,

Healthy, strong and active.

I guessed she wanted work round here

And I'd plenty on the farm.

Taking on another hand

Wouldn't do me any harm.

But first I asked some questions.

Had she picked lemons before?

I knew that it was hard work

And her hands might get quite sore.

She answered 'I'm not very good

With oranges or limes,

But I'm great at picking lemons!

I've been divorced three times!

*

The Blowhole

My Photo

THE BLOWHOLE

It blows with a great big 'Oomph!' that startles all who hear it!

And its plume of water drenches anyone who may get near it.

The Blow Hole at Kiama is quite a tourist draw,

And when we were on the South Coast it was something that we saw.

The Aboriginal people knew about it from the start.

Though the Europeans 'discovered' it and thought themselves so smart.

In 1797 George Bass, of Bass Strait fame,

Made a note of the Blow Hole and registered its name.

Charles Jackson made a crossing, in 1889,

On a tightrope! And the Tourists thought this was pretty fine.

Since then it's been a focal point for visitors' satisfaction.

And still the great resounding 'Oomph!' is the Blow Hole's great attraction.

OOOMPH!

A much more impressive publicity shot!

*

-------------------------------------------------------------------

SOUTH AFRICAN RECIPE

TOMATO BREDIE

Thinking of the poor and needy,

I offer you Tomato Bredie.

South Africans originated

This dish, so very highly rated.

My version's simple to a fault,

Add things to make it more your sort.

(Garlic may appeal to you.

Add anything to this simple stew.)

Cook it slowly, that's the trick,

It wont be 'yum' if you're too quick.

Slice 'some' onions, that's the plan,

Then chopped tomatoes from a can.

Add lamb chops, the cheapest kind;

Fatty ones taste good you'll find.

Trim the fat but not the lot;

Fat adds flavour to this pot.

(This last, no doubt, will horrify you;

But wait! A plan; I'll run it by you.)

Pepper, salt, but liquid no;

Wait till the juices start to flow.

Have you a crockpot? Why not use it?

I have one and I always choose it.

Lots of time but not much heat

Makes a Bredie divine to eat.

You will earn a flash diploma

When the house fills with aroma.

Cooked? Then now's the time to chill it.

Put it in the fridge. Don't spill it!

When it's settled, overnight,

The fat will give you quite a fright.

It will lie on top like a sheet of plastic!

Take it off! Underneath's fantastic!

Fat free, ready for the greedy,

A glorious Tomato Bredie!

But, as the adverts say, 'There's More!'

A further tip from my kitchen lore....

After the family's meal is done

Won't you be the clever one!

So much liquid will be remaining!

Don't make the mistake of straining.

Buy a chunky can of soup,

Mix all together to feed your troop.

Cordon Bleu? Well, not precisely.

Fits the bill? Yes, very nicely.

*

Followers

ABC WEDNESDAY
http://abcwednesdayround3.blogspot.com/
Letter 'F'
FOLLOWERS

This word has changed its meaning with the passing of the years.

Cast your mind back to the gentler days of yore,

When the mistress would chastise her maids and, no doubt, cut their pay

If amorous suitors hammered at the door.

'No Followers allowed!' she'd say when they were interviewed;

'No men-friends lurking by the garden gate.

If I should chance to see you with young Fred the butcher-boy

Instant dismissal! That will be your fate!'

*

The descendents of those servants lead very different lives.

Their love-lives are unfettered and quite free.

And then, of course, there's blogging, with a language of its own;

Words used by us, the Blog community.

One Follower is not enough! We yearn for eight or ten!

We tot them up and weep for those we lose!
And we Follow other people (in Cyberspace, of course)
And we're choosy about who we're going to choose!

*
Gerald Gee has summed it up in his cartoon, seen below,

(Poor lady! She has clearly been deserted!)
Just think how far removed she is from that poor Victorian lass
Who got the sack because she merely flirted!

--------------------------------------------------------------------

*

Gerald Gee

AND THE REST!

(Australia has just had an apology for an election.)

'Hung, drawn and quartered' and the rest!

Party Politics! What a pest!

For weeks they squabbled, sneered and wrangled,

And in plots became entangled!

Ask one 'What is your policy

On A or B or even C ?',

And they responded 'First of all

Let's make the opposition crawl!

Before I tell you our intentions

Regarding Drought Relief or Pensions,

Let's drag the others through the mire!

Their policies are really dire!

For instance think about Iraq....

And bringing all our soldiers back....'

'Hang on! What is your policy

On A or B or even C?'

'I'll get to that.....but first agree

That they behave abysmally!'

'Answer the question.......' no more time!

I thought it tantamount to crime!

*

Now, at least, the minor players,

Unremarkable, but stayers;

Farmers, ordinary blokes,

In touch with honest country folks,

Have, at last, got the Balance of Power.

Let The Parties take a long cold shower!

*

------------------------------------------------------------

P.S.

Yesterday the choir sang for a group of Stroke Recovery patients. We were rather a small group and Pam and I were the only altos so we had to work hard with our harmonies!

Just a Path

MY WORLD

http://showyourworld.blogspot.com/

 

JUST A PATH

Rebecca, she's my daughter, a mother and a wife,

Often congratulates herself on having a lovely life.

And this view is one of the reasons she is so gratified.....

The view is very near her home; only a short car-ride.

She drives down here in the morning, to a house you cannot see,

Where she works in a private office, a stone's throw from the sea.

She hears the bellbirds 'ringing' as she taps on her computer!

Isn't she a lucky one, to find a job to suit her!
*
------------------------------------------------------------

                                                     

                                                

AVAAZ

My poetic form can appear a curse.......

Trivialising. And, what's worse,

Seeming to ego-wise, pretend

That I can even think to send

A message out to everyone,

A serious message and not fun.

But please click on the address below!

What you find will surely show

That the power of the internet is strong,

And has the strength to right a wrong.

*
GOOGLE AVAAZ TODAY!
*

If only one of you reacts,

As I know you will to the awful facts....

If I can only make one hit,

I'll feel that I have done my bit.
*

When is Graffiti........

RUBY TUESDAY
http://workofthepoet.blogspot.com/2010/08/ruby-tuesday_23.html

WHEN IS GRAFFITI.......?

When is graffiti not graffiti? And when is art not art?

Where does one thing finish? Where does another start?

The word 'graffiti' says to me that a vandal is involved,

And vandalism's a problem we all hope will be solved.

The experts tell us what to like; they seem to rule our taste,

And it seems to me some 'almost greats' simply go to waste.

Take the above..... it's not great art, even I'm aware of that,

It's someone's curious fantasy that I am looking at.

But it's done with care and enterprise; it was done for a certain reason,

And even if it's illegal it's not anything like treason!

The wall was dull, a dingey fawn, before the brush was applied,

And now a building that needed a lift has a bright red-cartooned side.

I work in the same strange twilight zone as the above creator;

Not good, not bad, ephemeral, just a mere fabricator.

And so I say 'Good luck to him!' (or her as the case may be)

Something red and cheerful is something we need to see.

*

----------------------------------------------------------------

FROTH

Look on the soapsuds! You will see

A vision of all eternity!

See how each bubble blooms awhile

Then bursts with pyrotechnic style!

See how they follow, each on each,

Permanency out of reach;

Proud and rotund, a'gleam with light,

Each bubble floating ego-bright.

Each liquid universe is bound

In on itself, a gleaming round!

Look in each bubble as it rides;

Make out its delicate insides.

See every fleck and every spot.

Discern each whirling twirling dot.

Thus are we riding, fleck on fleck,

On some unimportant tiny speck

What was the Big Bang? Just a 'Pop!'

In a process that will never stop.

Time had no start. That's sure enough.

Time is peculiarly human stuff.

Time is a concept we invented.

Endlessness cannot be prevented.

The ticking of clocks is pure delusion;

The hours and minutes an illusion.

To the edge of Space we'll peer and pry.

'We'll see it someday!' that’s the cry.

But the edge is only of this sphere;

Reach it and other globes appear,

Each one a universe with stars,

Each with its Jupiter and Mars!

Each with its Earth and puny Genes,

Striving to find their ways and means.

Now, as we gaze upon the suds,

Bubbles are growing! Tiny buds,

Reaching maturity, bright full-blown,

Each bubble thinking it’s all alone.

Yet, as it bursts, another grows,

In a process that neither stops nor slows.

Consider the soapsuds' wild inanity!

Bubble and burst!

There goes humanity!

*

Painless!

EASYSTREET PROMPTS

http://www.easystreetprompts.com/
(Painless)

PAINLESS!

The Dentist was astounded when a couple bounded in!

The husband said 'How soon to pull a tooth?'

The Dentist said 'Well, anesthetic takes a while to work;

I must allow for that and that's the truth!'

'Forget the anesthetic!' the husband brusquely said;

'Don't worry if you cause a lot of pain!

We're off on holiday today so please don't hang about!

Quick as you can! We dare not miss the train!'

But sir!' the Dentist remonstrated, 'Think about the roots!!

Extraction pain is really very great!'

'Just do it!' said the husband 'Don't be worried if it hurts!

I tell you, man, be quick! We can't be late!'

'Let me congratulate you' the startled Dentist said;

'You're the bravest chap I've met in all my life!'

'Brave? What's brave about it?' the husband chortled then.

'I'm not the one with toothache!

It's the wife!'

*

----------------------------------------------------------------------

AIRHEAD
(An Acrostic suggested by Acrostics Only)

A man whose brain is full of air
Is not, it seems to me, 'all there'.
Research into his mental state
Has us believe it's not too great.
Even so, a feeble mind
As we have found, can be quite kind.
Devilish deeds are done, it's true,
By people with a high I.Q.!
*

Nonsense Times Ten

  

Gwilym Williams supplied ten nonsense words. Can you find them?

http://poet-in-residence.blogspot.com/2010/08/ten-made-up-words-to-be-used-in-piece.html

 

NONSENSE TIMES TEN!

 

Once, when out walking, I espied

A flenny noyder by my side!

It was wearing purple kasderoons

And holding a loopig of balloons!

'Oh noyder ! Kindly go away!
Today is my special piuoz day!'

I said to him, in a plinkton tone;

'Can't you see I want to be alone!'

Said the noyder 'Well, it's not my fault

That I've run out of letamalt!

You have a very plosklash face,

More masnerat than human race!

I'm sure you've letamalt to spare

And all I ask is that you should share!'

I took my nedglim from my pocket!

Scared, he shot off like a rocket!

*

-------------------------------------------------------------------

KICK-BOXING!

A kookaburra likes to laugh

At everything he sees,

But, mostly, at the kangaroo,

For he has such funny knees!

His front legs are just hanging there

You'd almost say that they were spare,

And yet he doesn't turn a hair

At comments such as these.

His back legs are grotesquely long,

Like two legs joined in one!

They're made of muscle, very strong

For bounding in the sun.

And he enjoys a favourite trick,

Giving an enemy a kick,

Not a good enemy to pick!

A fight would not be fun.

So kookaburra laughs all day

As kookaburras do.

He makes rude comments in this way

And most of them are true.

But he only mocks from on a fence.

A kookaburra isn't dense.

He knows it makes a lot of sense

To laugh...... then fly away!

*