Tuesday, August 26, 2008

109. Poop Deck!

An oldie but goodie today!


Blackbeard sat in his arm-chair
In the local Haven of Rest.
And his beard was black and swarthy,
As was the hair upon his chest.
He really looked quite fearsome,
Though his age was ninety-three.
You could see he'd lived life fully
In his days upon the sea.
His faithful parrot, Polly,
Was perched upon his shoulder
And, truth to tell, the poor old bird
Was looking even older!
The sad bedraggled creature
Let out a feeble squawk,
And Blackbeard said 'In years gone by
Lawks! How that bird could talk!'
He went to scratch her lovingly;
I took a second look!
I saw he had no good right hand!
Just a nasty hooky hook!
'How did you lose your hand then?'
(Although it looked quite gory
I knew that, as a reporter,
I had to get a story.)
'I got in a bit of a pickle
Somewhere east of Malay,
A sailor shot me hand off.
But Lord, did I make him pay!'
'Then what about the eye-patch?
Have you lost an eye as well?
Shiver me Timbers! Yes!' he said
'But I gave the culprit hell!'
'Go on!' I responded eagerly
'Tell me how it occurred!'
'Funny thing,' said Blackbeard,
'The culprit was a bird.'
'A bird?' I said, now all agog,
'Tell me the how and why!'
'Well, the danged creature flew down low
And pooped right in me eye!'
I laughed then, at his story,
He was joking without doubt.
'How could a bit of bird manure
Make your eye fall out?'
'I only went to rub me eye.
But that rub was all it took.
I was only just out of hospital!

I forgot I'd got a hook!'


Bear Naked said...

Thank you Brenda
This is the perfect poem to go with the retired pirate Joke.

Bear((( )))

Kat said...

Jeez.... That was superb.

Loved the poem.... so carefully crafted... Just when I was joining the reporter - to smirk at the birdie's little bombardment causing loss of eye.... you came up with that terrific twister..... !!! Was like a sledge hammer on my head. Lovvvvvved it.