The Rain in Spain

LOTS OF LAUGHTER

http://thelaughtersite.blogspot.com/
asks us to write a limerick about  'Rain'.

THE RAIN IN SPAIN

There was a young lady from Spain

Who went out for a walk in the rain

But a deluge descended

And she was up-ended,

And got washed-away down a drain!

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(And my very old friend, Trevor, has already sent a sequel!)

That intrepid young lady from Spain
Last heard of when washed down a drain
She swam and she swam
'Til she came to a dam
And climbed out to start over again!
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(So I respond)
 
The young lady must be a bit dense!
She hasn't an atom of sense.
She might think it ripping
To struggle out dripping,
But she'll soon find she's in the past tense!
*
(This could go on for ever!........It does!)

That young lady you tried to banish
She's not only wet but she's Spanish
You did not know she could swim
So you are out on a limb
As she constantly refuses to vanish!
 
(Finale )
 
Your finale was witty and clever.
We could write back and forward for ever!
The lady from Spain
I treat with disdain!
The prize goes to you, my dear Trevor!
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ONE MAN'S MEAT

'One man's meat is another man's poison!'

I've heard that said and I'm sure that it's true.

This sort of pattern does nothing for me!

It may be the last word in fashion for you!

I remember the seventies! Weren't they just awful!

The things that we wore were devoid of all taste!

The obvious colours competing for dominance!

The bright repeat-patterns we gladly embraced!

And now they've come back again! Can you believe it!

The High Street's awash with the same garish stuff.

I've lived long enough to see hist'ry repeated!

But the seventies! Surely just once was enough!

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Ludicrous Limerick

LOTS OF LAUGHTER

http://thelaughtersite.blogspot.com/

"Write a limerick using the word 'edge'"

LUDICROUS LIMERICK

There was a young fellow called Reg,

Who insisted on jelly with veg!

But he got quite a shock
When folk started to mock
And it tipped him right over the edge.

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TOO MUCH INFORMATION!

'Grandma' said five-year-old Johnny, with the innocence of youth,

'If I ask you any question will your answer be the truth?'

'Certainly, dear' said Grandma, 'I'll answer you all right'.

'Well, what do they call it' said Johnny 'When people in the night

Lie one on top of the other?' Grandma did a double-take!

She took a look at Johnny and said 'For goodness sake!'

But, being a modern lady, she decided to come clean,

And tell her little grandson what such situations mean.

She decided too that no-holds-barred was the easiest way to go;

In for a penny, in for a pound and also blow by blow!

She started with the birds and bees and progressed to human kind;

She drew him little diagrams ..... whatever came to mind.

Johnny hung on her every word; you could see he was impressed.

So Grandma got quite carried away and told him all the rest!

'I must explain to Jimmy!' the boy announced at last;

So he dashed next-door to Jimmy ....... but he came back pretty fast.

'Jimmy's Mum says she wants a word! She's pretty mad!' he said.

'She says when people sleep like that they call it

A bunk bed!'
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PS. I don't make-up the jokes, only the rhymes!

 

Customer Complaint

LOTS OF LAUGHTER

http://thelaughtersite.blogspot.com/2010/09/4th-weekly-dose-of-laughter.html

Prompt 'cook'

CUSTOMER COMPLAINT

Algernon sat down to dine and he was licking his lips

Thinking of the lobster he would eat (along with chips).

The waiter arrived with the lobster, held high on a silver dish.

For sure this meal was going to be as succulent as one could wish!

But when it was placed before him, just look what Algernon saw!

The wretched lobster lay there displaying just one claw!

'Bring the cook!' said Algernon, seeing the amputation;

This lobster only has one claw! I want an explanation!'

The cook appeared, with a harrassed look, and said 'You are quite right.

This lobster only has one claw! It must have been in a fight!'

Then Algernon lost his temper! 'I paid for a two-claw dinner!

Bring me the other lobster! I want to eat the winner!'

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BLOW A FUSE!

(An Acrostic)

Belligerent? Oh no! Not me!

Layabouts like you must see

Our ways of life are not alike!

Why? Don't ask! Get on yer bike!

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Are you even listening to me?

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Fool! There's no harm you can do me!

Unless you back-off I'll lash-out!

Seems I must give you a clout!

Ever heard 'I win; you lose'?

This is it! I've blown a fuse!

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