Thursday, August 26, 2010

Deserted



MAGPIE TALES
http://magpietales.blogspot.com/2010/08/mag-29.html
chose the illustration

DESERTED

It was the last thing I saw
As the paddy-wagon drove away,
With me in the back!
*
The red vase.
*
The trees were smaller then.
We had picked roses together
Only that morning.
Both of us knew
We were on borrowed time.
*
She had known of my criminal past
From the start.
But she had loved me in spite of it.
We thought we were safe.
*
The radio shattered our lives.
*
'The authorities
Hope to apprehend the criminal
Any day now'.
*
We knew we were on borrowed time.
So we picked roses.
They looked splendid in the red vase
On the window-sill.
They were the last thing I saw.
*
Now I have returned.
The stucco has faded to a paler pink.
The trees have grown to surround the house.
The bright red vase
Still stands on the window-sill.
*
But the roses have gone.
*
 And so has she.
*
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NORTH

(An acrostic suggestion from Acrostics Only.)

Nights are bleak with scarce a light;
Owls are frozen in their flight.
Reindeer roam on the open plain;
The snow is simply frozen rain;
Humans dare not sally forth.
Life is hard in the frozen North.
*

21 comments:

Jinksy said...

Goodness - criminal intent lurks! :)

christine said...

Love this poem, you have caotured the feel of desertion and despair.

corfubob said...

How I enjoyed 'Deserted', a sad story well told. Nice to get away from strict rhyming couplets which stutter and jump just to place a rhyme at the end of the line, do you agree?

Sue J said...

Great Magpie. I enjoyed reading it :)

Carrie Burtt said...

Brenda you do so have a way with words....i love your talent, and enjoyed your Magpie! :-)

Pan said...

Nice Magpie, I enjoyed it. :-)

willow said...

Excellent tale. I love how you weaved your tale around that "red vase" in the window. (shh, don't tell, but it's actually a hummingbird feeder hanging from the tree.)

MARGARET GOSDEN 2 said...

Love the photo and the red vase that inspired a sad mystery and nostalgic memory.

rebecca said...

Oh my gosh, "Deserted," how sad and so beautiful in narrative. This was really well done; as a reader, I felt that pain of loss. Just beautiful.

Elizabeth said...

I liked the cottage poem and its bit of mistery and how well you caught that sense of desertion. Also really liked the Acrostic, another sense of desertion, as well.

Elizabeth

Martin H. said...

Nice sense of the net closing, in this one.

Paul Andrew Russell said...

A very original Magpie. Loved reading this.

Tumblewords: said...

One clever tale! And the acrostic is spot on.

Lyn said...

Hard time served! Such an interesting take..could feel the passage of time....

signed...bkm said...

Great write and take on this prompt...so reflective ..you can sense the time....bkm

nana_ang_poppaphil said...

Great magpie, I really enjoyed it.

Reflections said...

Nice Magpie. Criminal perspectives.... hmmm...

Thanks for reading mine and sharing your thoughts.

Linda said...

Hi, I enjoyed this, but felt bad for the guy who got hauled away. We don't know what he did. I choose to believe it was nothing horrible since the girl loved him anyway. Too bad the way his life turned out. Crime never pays - in the long run.

kathew said...

nice twist and I enjoyed it!

kavisionz said...

What a story!! Sad, but the way you've put it across, is just BEAUTIFUL!!!

"borrowed time" -- how awful that must be! :(
And then when he returned, he could see it all, and yet there was nothing...
Loved this poem... it was stunning!

Helen said...

Love this ... a unique and interesting twist on the photo!