192.Solomon's Wisdom

Wiseman's Ferry is a small settlement on the Hawkesbury River, not far from Newcastle, here in Australia. The story of how the area came to be so-named makes for interesting reading.

SOLOMON'S WISDOM

Of course, he was a Reprobate

And a Confidence Trickster too,

But I can't help but admire him

For the way that he pulled through.

His name was Solomon Wiseman,

A rather splendid name,

And from the South of England

To our Newcastle he came.

He ran a sloop from the Folkestone coast,

In the British Government's pay,

Carrying spies to land in France

Where Napoleon held sway.

And he often strolled on Folkestone beach

Looking smart and spry,

In a velvet jacket of brightest blue

With a telescope to his eye.

But Solomon's downfall was overdue!

The Government clipped his wings

When they found he was coming back from France

With wine and other things!

Yes, he'd been smuggling all the time

As a Double Agent, no less,

And he was hastily thrown in jail!

So much for his success!

As was the custom in far-off times,

He was shipped to New South Wales,

Where convicts were treated brutally

In rat-infested jails.

But, because he'd given good service,

Even with feet of clay,

He was released after just four years

And sent on his merry way.

He was given a parcel of bushland

On the banks of the Hawkesbury River,

And because his fortunes then improved,

I trust he thanked the giver!

At the very time he settled there

Road-building was under-way.

More and more convict labourers

Arrived there every day.

But they could not cross the Hawkesbury!

Inconvenient? Very.

So what does Solomon Wiseman do?

He builds a sturdy ferry!

The 'powers that be' in Sydney

Were grateful as could be,

And they paid him handsomely year by year,

A very tasty fee.

He went on to become wealthy,

His house was large and grand.

He owned hostelries and businesses.

He was known throughout the land.

And his ferry's still in use today

As the area's remote,

And people enjoy a little trip

On Solomon Wiseman's boat.

But the man himself, I very much fear,

Didn't cover himself with glory.

In fact, he's now become a ghost!

(But that's another story!)

191. Here's to Coffee!

HERE'S TO COFFEE!

Why do we hear so much of Black and White?

Why is Obama's Blackness bound to put things right?

When anyone, and that's the dullest dullard,

Can see that the future's plainly Coffee-coloured?
In a thousand years, if we go on this way,
We'll all rejoice in being cafe-au-lait!
Olay!

190. Pity Poor Pollywog!

CHANGE

is the topic for this week's

SUNDAY SCRIBBLINGS. 

Human beings must rejoice in the fact that they don't have to cope with the metamorphosis of a young frog, a tadpole or pollywog, or whatever it's called where you live! Could we cope with such great change?

PITY POOR POLLYWOG!

I'm glad I'm not a Pollywog!

A tadpole's insecure

From day to day

It can never say

How it's going to look, for sure.

It starts off as a roundish blob,

But then it grows a tail!

When it looks around

The tail is found

And it says 'Wow! I'm a whale!'

Very soon two arms are sprouting.

He's amazed by what he's seeing!

He holds them there

Up in the air

Shouting 'I'm a human being!'

But the two legs prove that that's not right

And he sees them sprout, brand new,

Double-jointed, long

And very strong'

So he says 'I'm a kangaroo!'

But the worst is yet to happen!

His tail begins to itch,

Then it starts to ache

And finally break

And he leaves it in a ditch.

Feeling really puzzled,

He climbs up on a log.

Then he starts to croak

And sees the joke;

'I get it! I'm a frog!'

189 Blond Blooper

T.F.Simon

would probably be surprised to have his art associated with a joke but I had a hard time finding a Blond, a Redhead and a Brunette!

BLOND BLOOPER!

Picture, Readers, if you will, an island in the sea,

And three delightful castaways, sitting beneath a tree.

The first, called Rita, is brown-haired, while Cora's hair is red,

And Wilma is a natural blond, (at least, that's what she said.)

They've been cast-up on the island for many weary days

And they've had to entertain themselves in a multitude of ways.

In the picture they're sun-bathing, by a little island stream,

But I think they're taking quite a risk! I can't see sun-tan cream!

They're bored to tears just hanging-out and waiting to be found.

But what is this? They've found a bottle lying on the ground!

You guessed it, when they pop the cork, a Genie spirals out!

Which makes the girls excited; see them cavort and shout!

The Genie speaks to Rita first . 'What do you wish my dear?

Name your wish, for that's the reason I've been magicked here.'

'How I long to see my family!' cried Rita, straight away!

'Let me return to those I love!'... Said the Genie 'I obey.'

There was a flash, a thunder crash, and Rita zoomed back home

Making a vow, in transit, that nevermore she'd roam.

Now Cora said 'May I return to my own dear native land?'

Said the Genie' Straight away, my dear; your wish is my command.'

In a puff of smoke she disappeared, to Little Rock, Arkensas;

The little space where she had been was all that Wilma saw.

Finally it was Wilma's turn; she considered her request.

Of all the wishes she could make, which did she think the best?

The Genie waited then he said 'Is there nothing that you lack?'

'Well' said Wilma (she was blond)

'I wish  my friends were back'!

188. Hooray!

The Coming of the Next Ice-Age is hardly mentioned! The downturn in world financial affairs is uppermost in our minds, but that very Credit Crunch may put a stop to Global Warming! The future may be quite chilly!

HOORAY!

Hooray! That Global Warming's on the run!

Though the future doesn't look a lot of fun!

We over-stepped our boundaries

With oil-wells and with foundries

And with smoke that almost blotted out the sun.

Hooray! That Global Warming's in our sites!

We've been using far too many shining lights!

We now must all pay heed

To our gourmandising greed!

Look at us! We're scarcely fitting in our tights!

Hooray! That Global Warming will be licked!

Due to Credit Crunch some habits will be kicked!

No more multiplying cars!

No more spaceships off to Mars!

(Though it isn't quite the cure that I'd have picked!)

Hooray! That Global Warming seemed so dire!

Now poverty will help to quench the fire.

When once we learn to handle,

Evenings with just one candle

The thought of future cooling will inspire!

Hooray! Another Ice Age on the way!

But that is not encouraging to say!

What we heartily desire

Isn't ice and isn't fire!

We just wish that all this angst would go away!

187. Recipe in Rhyme 3: Sinful Supper

That British Woman alerted me to this recipe. But I felt I'd like to add some bacon pieces to it! So as not to adulterate her recipe and photo I looked for something similar and lo (!) here it is! I've changed the name too! The cream makes it sinful!

SINFUL SUPPER

  

In a skillet fry chopped onion,

With bacon bits, in margarine.

Toss some cheese with flour,salt, pepper.

Add the lot! Don't be too mean.

Take a bowl and blend together

Eggs with half-and-half or cream.

Add to mix with cooked potato

Smell that aromatic steam!

Now transfer this lovely mixture

To a 9 inch baking dish.

Medium heat for half an hour.

Maybe longer if you wish.

Cool it. Cut it into portions,

Garnish it with sprigs of thyme,

Serve it with a tasty salad

Hear them shouting
'IT'S SUBLIME!'

Ingredients: I cup finely chopped onion; handful grated cheese to taste; 4 cups diced cooked potatoes; 1/4 cup s.r flour; 3 eggs; 3/4 cup cream.

Extra! Extra!

 ABC WEDNESDAY.

P FOR PRESIDENT!

A Christian with a Muslem name!

A Black who's also White!

If he's a Crazy Mixed-Up-Kid

We'd better hang on tight!