Showing posts with label Humour verse. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humour verse. Show all posts

Saturday, April 2, 2011

The Last Straw



THE LAST STRAW

Dan, a burly working-man, walked into a bar one day
And he saw a very doleful chap sitting across the way.
Dan downed the usual jar or two and was utterly mesmerised
By the dreary fellow opposite, who seemed almost hypnotised!
Two hours went past and still the man sat gazing at his beer,
He didn't drink a single drop! He even shed a tear!
Dan became so frustrated! Time continued to pass!
Finally, already a little drunk, he grabbed the sad man's glass.
In one great gulp he drank the beer saying 'That's the way to drink!
When someone acts the way you do I don't know what to think!'
In tones of gloomy misery the man began to speak......
' It may be life is kind to you but I've had an awful week.
On Monday my boss gave me the sack, on Tuesday my old dog died,
On Wednesday my car was stolen; I had to hitch a ride.
On Thursday Mary left me; ran off with Bert next-door.
On Friday I lost my credit card! I just couldn't take any more.
So I decided to end it all, right here, on Saturday night!
Now you've gone and drunk my  poison!
I couldn't even get that right!'
*
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ROSY COSY!
How could it not catch my eye
In the Market as I passed by.
Out the front there by a stall
Offering comfort to us all?
Not a cheap and cheery plastic
But something so much more fantastic.
Even a cushion to rest my head!
And all such a very gorgeous RED!

*

Saturday, February 20, 2010

To the Happy Couple!




TO THE HAPPY COUPLE!


Genevieve and Brad were married. They were, oh, so much in tune,
And they thought it would be novel to have a jungle honeymoon.
They bought themselves the right equipment, dressed themselves in jungle kit,
Headed off to snakes and scorpions, neither of them scared a bit.
Then they came upon a clearing with natives sitting round a fire,
Felt a little insecure then for the scene looked rather dire.
They saw a vat of boiling water, felt they'd like to run and hide.
But the chieftan beckoned to them, said 'We'd like to toast the bride!'
Sure enough, the bride was toasted; so much for doom and gloom.
Till, to round-off the big party
They went and barbecued the groom!
*

Some more nuptials here: