Showing posts with label Book Blurb. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Book Blurb. Show all posts

Friday, March 16, 2012

Fishy Business!

 
WRITING IN THE BUFF
supplied the book cover

Would this blurb encourage you to purchase this book?

FISHY BUSINESS!
by
Throgmorton de Quincy

A drug-busting adventure story!
*
Atherton Twinge is a private investigator.
He has tracked down
The Vertigo Twins
To the sleepy port
Of Shifftington-on-Sea.
*
He now lies in wait
In a pub called
'The Dog and Duck'.
*
One piece of the jigsaw
Is missing.
What code do the villains use
To communicate
With each other?
*
He gazes from his window.
Suddenly
The word 'Halibut'
Seers itself into his consciousness.
He has cracked the code!
*
When he reads 
'Sardines' next day
He knows he is on the right track.
*
But the gang is one step ahead of him.
Read of his adventures 
As he flees his enemies.
Crack the codes devised
By the criminals!
*
A clue.
'Have all loot in bag under table'
*
Help Atherton Twinge by breaking the codes!
*
Keep dementia at bay
With these handy mental exercises.
*

The Halibut Society: We do not take kindly to the splendid word 'halibut' being used in a crime story. Halibut are noble fish. And, furthermore, fish oil is good for dementia too! 
The President;  'Fishy' Arbuthnot.
*
------------------------------------------------------------------
 

ILL WIND

When I was a very little lad my Mother said to me
'Make a face like that my boy and you'll see what you will see!
The wind will change direction and your face will stay like that!'
She often said those words to me; I was something of a brat.
Well, I became an adult, but, sadly, I hadn't learned;
My Mother's words were laughed at and her advice was spurned.
I became an Artist's Model, taking off all my clothes,
And sitting for hour upon dreary hour in pose after awkward pose.
Sometimes I stood on one leg, sometimes I spread my arms,
Sometimes I flexed my muscles to show-off my manly charms.
I remember on this occasion I was asked to stand on my head!
I begged, indeed I pleaded, for a sitting pose instead!
'No! No! You must be upsidedown!'; the sculptor looked quite grim
And I decided I'd had enough! I would face up to him!
I sat down heavily on a bench; I was in an awful mood;
I would stay there till he changed his mind; I'd just sit there and brood.
Resting my chin upon my fist, I pouted like a child,
Fully intending to drive the sculptor absolutely wild.
Too late I remembered my mother's words, and her chastising tone,
The wind changed at that moment, and I was turned to stone!
*


Friday, August 12, 2011

Potted Perpendicular


BOOK BLURB FRIDAY
gives us the book cover.

Would my blurb make you want to read the book?

POTTED PERPENDICULAR
by
 Prof. Edmund Cleary Dampkin S.L.R.,  F.T.T.P.M.,  X.Y.Z (Hons)
(Deceased)

Just what you have been searching for!
A complete history of World Architecture in verse!
From Caveman Days to Last Week!
No Architectural Student should be without it!
Let this example whet your appetite!

"When you look beneath this cover
You will very soon discover
Lots of one thing and anuvver."

*
 Pentium Grodly, "The Sunday Gallery" Arts Correspondent.
says
'If I had read this book as a young student my buildings would not have fallen over!'
*
-----------------------------------------------------------------

Gerald Gee

CELESTIAL RAINCOAT!

If only it could be
As easy as that for me!
If only I could shelter
From all life's helter-skelter
Caught in a golden beam,
A sort of holy dream!
If only a belief
Could bring such great relief!
If only He could prevent
Rain falling on my tent!
But, in the local papers,
You wouldn't believe the capers
'Got up to' by gentlemen of the cloth!
Sins of jealousy and sloth,
Avarice, gluttony and pride!.
Many ending up 'inside'!
This cherubic little man
Had better keep dry while he can!
All too soon a crash of thunder
Will dissipate the beam he's under!
Life without it will not be jolly!
He didn't think to bring a brolly!
*