Hear her say 'For goodness sake!
You ought to know I don't like cake!
You waltz in here, proud as you please,
When I'd much prefer a hunk of cheese!
I haven't got a sweet-tooth, dear!
How many times I've made that clear!
Alright, it took a whole afternoon!
Alright, young Edwin licked the spoon!
Alright, you're feeling quite worn out!
Alright, dear! There's no need to pout!
I'll cut the cake, will that satisfy you?
I trust that that will pacify you!
And yes, I'll actually eat a slice,
But only one, that will suffice.
Just a crumb with tea in a cup.
But I can't promise I wont throw-up!
Icing is so sweet and sickly!
Maybe if I eat it quickly!
Cake crumbs under my new front plate!
I've told you that's something that I hate!
Why! This cake isn't even decorated!
And where are the candles? Not located!
Cakes look nice when the icing's pink.
Pink's a good colour for cakes, I think.
What's that dear? You prefer white?
Well, if you're happy, that's alright.
A cake without candles! What a farce!
And where's my name? Well, I'll let that pass.
I bet there will be some mishap!
There! I've dropped some on my lap!
What a birthday! Was it too hard
To send your mother a birthday card?
You sent an email! Fair enough!
You know I hate that new-fangled stuff!
Now of course there's the little question
Of Mummy getting indigestion!
My pills, silly girl, in the top drawer there!
Sometimes I think you don't even care.
Are you going? Well, toodle-oo!
Yes, my darling, I love you too!