306. How Are You?

I really have been tempted!


HOW ARE YOU?

It wasn't exactly sincerely said but at least he gave a smile.

So I responded as I should, for I'm devoid of guile.

He said 'How are you?' (as they do) while pricing my tin of plums,

With artificial bonhomie as though we two were chums.

'I'm fine' I said, with half a smile turning as though to go.

And then I turned right back to him saying 'Why do you want to know?'

He looked non-plussed! (The check-out line was stretching to the door.)

I stood my ground with a menacing glare. 'What did you ask me for?'

'I… well….but….if' he stammered then, but I was on a roll.

Too many stupid questions finally took their toll.

'Look!' I said, 'If you want to know, my head-ache hurts like blazes!

I feel so bad I'm sure quite soon I'll be pushing up the daisies.

I've a touch of indigestion, brought on by your store's cheese,

And I know we're going to get some rain! I can feel it in my knees!

I've a bunion on my big toe and it's really giving me gyp!

But it's nothing compared with the spasms afflicting my left hip!

I'm allergic to potassium; so I'm developing hives,

And the agony of my toothache is as bad as a thousand knives.

I feel a little queasy; I may throw up right now.

And mentally I'm in the mood to have a really blazing row!'

With that final burst of venom I swept out, on my way

But a cheerful  voice behind me said

'Don't worry! Have a good day!'