302. The Last Word

THE LAST WORD!

She swept into the restaurant

Making everybody nervous,

Accustomed to alacrity

From those who gave her service.

The flunky pulled her chair out;

She sat down with a flounce.

Not the sort of lady

Whose cheque would ever bounce!

'Waiter!' She flashed her diamond rings,

And boomed so all could hear

'Bring me a dozen oysters 

Now! Not some time next year!

Don't bring me any frozen ones,

And nothing that's imported!

I've been here many times before

And you know I wont be thwarted!'

The waiter wrote down her request

Beginning to move away,

But she rounded on him

Barking out 'I haven't finished! Stay!

Don't bring me any salty ones,

Or any that are small!

And anything other than icy cold

Just will not do at all!

Don't bring me coarse enormous ones

I want a perfect size.

And bring them here immediately!

Sooner, if you're wise!'

The Waiter hesitated then;

For a second there was doubt,

Then he looked milady in the eye

And said

'With pearls or without?'