Oh dear!......Oh my head!
What am I doing here in bed?
Let's look at the clock! My God! Past noon!
Is that the sun? Is that the moon?
I'll put one foot out on the floor.
Ouch! That hurts! My head is sore!
Everything's swimming round and round.
No, I can't put my foot down on the ground.
I'll lie back a little bit longer, yes.
There, that's better.....more or less.
My mouth tastes awful! What did I eat?
I vaguely remember it was Dougie's treat.
He bought a round, then I bought mine.....
Did I drink too much red wine?
Red wine! Ugh! The very thought!
What was the name of that girl Jack brought?
Maybe I'll just sit up in bed;
I'll sort of pander to my head.
If I can sit I'll try the standing.
What's that pile out on the landing?
Oh! It's my clothes; they look a mess!
But why can I see a sort of dress?
I don't wear dresses!..... Maybe I do!
Golly! I think I'm going to ........
There! That's better! But I feel weak.
Is that lipstick on my cheek?
I thought it was me and Dougie and Jack!
Surely I didn't bring someone back!
Now the mirror! Oh! What a sight!
Enough to give a cat a fright!
I must sit down, I feel like jelly!
Why is a bra on top of my telly?
I must get dressed! T-shirt, I think.
Maybe I need another drink.
Pants! Which leg? Is it left or right?
Are these the ones I wore last night?
It must have been a rowdy caper!
I'll stagger out and buy a paper.
Shoes! Where are they? Oh, in bed!
Here's one. It's such a pretty red.
I bought these shoes only yesterday;
They're Berluti. What did I pay?
I seem to remember they cost the earth.
Surprising what good shoes are worth.
Now where's the other, I'll dig down deep,
Did I take them off while I was asleep?
Oh my head! I mustn't bend!
Where's that shoe? Right down the end?
What's this?......... It doesn't belong to me!
No shoe! Wherever can it be?
I think I must lie down again.
It all comes back to me now and then!
Not a very edifying night!
As for the sun, it's far too bright!
Oh dear, parting is such sweet sorrow.
I think I'll look for my shoe tomorrow!