Tickling Lesson

ONE SINGLE IMPRESSION

http://onesingleimpression.blogspot.com/2011/02/prompt-157-vellicate.html

Our prompt  is 'vellication'.

TICKLING LESSON!

Be gentle when you tickle me! Don't make me shriek and squirm!

Don't make me writhe and gasp and plead like some unholy worm!

I may be laughing great big tears and appearing to enjoy,

But, believe me, boistrous tickling does nothing but annoy.

Though I may throw myself about it's not with ecstasy!

I'm trying to get away from you, so listen to my plea.

*

No, tickle me very gently, with a tickle feather-light.

Tickle with a touch that's very tentative and slight.

A finger on the nape of neck, or the  ankle or the wrist

Can have the same effect as being passionately kissed.

Practise vellication! You'll find it always works

Much better than rough tickling, with all it's physical jerks!

*

I write, of course, from memory, but I know that it's true.

Let someone that you care for practise vellication on YOU!

*

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THE LIKENESS

I begged him not to paint my profile; I know it's quite severe!

I've only one good feature, and that is my left ear!

He drew the hair around it so it wasn't even seen!

He said it was a hairstyle that was favoured by the Queen!

I really look quite pretty from the front! I really do!

Though my nose is not my strongest point; I must admit that's true.

My neck is rather lovely, though; you must have noticed that,

And the way my hair is organised in a sort of curly plait.

My eye-brows have been shaped quite well; they arch quite pleasantly

And notice my jewels! How they show I'm from high society.

My mouth looks grim! Well, wouldn't yours, if you were in my shoes!

Nobody pays the slightest heed to the youngest daughter's views!

Mother chose the outfit. She said embroidery was 'in',

And when Mother makes her mind up I know she's bound to win!

*

Well, I only hope 'he' likes it, whoever 'he' may be.

They're sending him this picture so 'he' can study me!

And if he likes the look of me I'll travel to his side

And whether I care for him or not I'll have to be his bride!

*

They tell me in several hundred years women will have a say

In whom they have to marry! They won't have to obey!

And there will be an invention called 'plastic surgery'.

Oh well, that information isn't much help to me!

*

Saved

CARRY ON TUESDAY
http://carryontuesdayprompt.blogspot.com/
We have been asked to use the well-known phrase featured in blue.

SAVED

At first life was divine; she was all I could have desired;

I felt elated, overwhelmed, delirious and inspired.

Of course, I asked her to marry me; she was really a prize,

With her ruby lips, her generous curves and the bluest of blue eyes.

*

But we started planning the wedding and then the doubts crept in;

I found myself fighting a battle I couldn't hope to win!

The wedding itself took-over; gone were our moonlit strolls;

She was too busy composing lists of the various roles!

There were umpteen bridesmaids to think of, and that not counting the page,

And then the problem of venue..... she really wanted a stage!

We had to visit hotels galore; the reception had to be planned,

And she wanted all the trimmings, something remarkably grand.

Her dress was of vital importance; she scanned all the magazines

For something I'd only imagined was for Princesses or Queens!

Discussions about the menu went on for hours and hours!

And then there were the speeches, the alcohol, the flowers!

The rings she chose were magnificent; even the one for me!

'I've got excellent taste, dear' she said 'Just wait and see!

Our home will be utter perfection; all 'interior design'.

We'll have a heavenly love-nest. I know it will be divine!'

I knew I was in too deeply; invitations had been sent-out;

I simply had to wrestle with my great unspoken doubt.

*

But I am still a single man! And thereby hangs a tale.

I thought I was a gonner, a poor misguided male.

But the Vicar sent a message 'The bellringers are on strike.

I'm afraid all I can offer is something you may not like.........

I can ring one bell myself and I hope that that will do;

I can't give you the peal you asked for, because I have no crew.

Come up to the church and listen and then make up your minds.
No difference; one bell or six; it's still a tie that binds.'

*
So we went to the church to listen; we heard the one bell toll;
It was a deep and solemn sound that entered my very soul.
'She'  stamped her foot and pouted and said 'That'll ruin the whole affair!
It sounds just like a funeral! I want a peal of bells! So there!'
*
And, suddenly, that word 'funeral' started echoing in my brain!
I'd be bidding farewell to my freedom! I'd never be free again!
I yelled 'Goodbye!' and then turned tail, breaking every spell!
And dashed out of the churchyard, like a bat straight out of hell!
*
It truly was a case, my friends, of being
'Saved by the bell'


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WATER BABY

Squeals of joy
From this little boy!
No lamb to the slaughter!
He loves the water!
Next year he'll leap
Into the deep!
Wet eyes! Wet ears!
And yet no fears!
This Mum, maybe,
Has a Water Baby!
*

What a Contraption!

WRITERS ISLAND
http://writersisland.wordpress.com/2011/02/26/prompt-9-for-2011-improvise/
asks us to consider 'improvisation'.

WHAT A CONTRAPTION!

A 'Heath-Robinson contraption'; a phrase not heard any more;

Yet one that's firmly embedded in my early-childhood lore.

Heath-Robinson was an artist who created crazy scenes,

With improvisation looming large and 'elastic-band' machines.

If anyone did a botched-up job, with safety-pins and such,

Someone was sure to comment 'That's a Heath-Robinson touch!'

Say it to someone modern and they wouldn't have a clue

About the zany pictures that an ancient artist drew.

Things go in and out of fashion, often with the speed of light;

Things that once loomed very large have faded out of sight.

Take the scene below, a cartoon which was valid in the past,

But full of little aspects that were destined not to last.

The converted bath was the comic touch when this little scene was drawn;

'Sexism' wasn't heard of in the days when I was born.

But improvisation still exists, and it can be good or bad,

And not, as with Heath-Robinson, verging on the mad.

*

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TECHNOLOGICAL BREAKTHROUGH!

In a little country town, in a little dusty room
That called itself 'Museum', just for show,
I found this ancient artifact among the aged junk
And it brought back days of very long ago.
I can see them gathering round when the miracle arrived,
All shiny and so modern and so bright!
I can picture eyes wide open at the new technology;
They'd see Washing Day in quite a different light!
'Mum! It'll do the wringing!' Little Tommy is amazed
At the clever things that grown-up people do!
'It looks a trifle difficult!' That's Mother looking shy
For she's always rather scared when things are new.
'You'll get the hang of it, my dear!' That's father, looking proud,
For the gadget is from Dad to Mum, a gift;
'The children need not help you when you do the weekly wash!
You'll find the sheets are easier to lift!'
Mum tries to turn the handle but it's heavy and it's stiff;
She views her new contraption with dismay.
So now she'll have to manage without any help at all.
She just can't wait until it's Washing Day!
*

Aware

FREE WRITE FRIDAY

http://magicinthebackyard.wordpress.com/2011/02/24/free-write-friday-week-six/

We have been asked for an early memory.

AWARE

My first memory is of cold hands.

*

I am a tiny child

Lying in bed

In a cold, cold room.

*

England.

Winter.

Nearly eighty years ago.

*

My hands,

Tiny petrified starfish,

Lie on top of the blankets.

*

I cannot sleep

For the discomfort of them.

*

Carefully,

I place them,

One after the other,

Under the covers.

*

I remember the thought.

'Ah!

This is how to keep warm!'

*

I recall the newness of the thought.

I recall the triumph

Of doing something for myself.

I recall the bliss

Of the warmth of my own body.

*

Such a tiny memory!

So insignificant!

*

Yet I believe

This was the precise moment

I became a person.

*

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Newton Rajah

BRILLIANCE!

What a way they have with colour! Our friends of the Indian race!

It's as though they take a paint-pot and splash it about the place!

We see it in documentaries which delight us on TV,

And friends who've been there all declare it's the same in reality.

I here present my good friend Kat, (we meet in cyberspace)

And you'll see there's a solemn expression on everybody's face.

Kat and his wife have just built a house and here it is being blessed.

He sent photos of the ceremony and I was quite impressed!

But look at Kat's wife's sari! The colours simply glow!

She bought it for the occasion! It's better than a show!

And though Kat's wearing snowy white the silk picks up the hues;

And we can see oranges and pinks, yellows and golds and blues.

The house is not yet finished, hence it's dull and grey,

But soon it will glow with colour in a truly Indian way.

*

Predominantly Pictures

PREDOMINANTLY PICTURES!

I'm not entirely certain

But I'm pretty sure it's true

That graphic fiction aims

To make life easier for you.

Should Tolstoy prove too taxing,

Should Shakespeare numb your brain,

You can read the tale in picture-form

And thus escape the pain.

Now a comic is a comic;

That I can quite accept,

But why should a novel be 'comicised'

Just because you're inept?

(The 'you' I refer to isn't you ........

I'm sure you're literate!

I'm sure you'd never take 'King Lear'

And try to 'Twitter' it!)

Great writing is much more than plots;

The language is paramount,

And Graphic Fiction, it seems to me,

Says language doesn't count.

I think it must be very rare

For someone to start with pictures

And then turn to the literature

With its academic strictures!

If we asked 'Will you now read it?'

They'd respond  'No I will NOT!

Why should I plough through all that stuff

When I already know the plot?'

So it's a case of 'either/or'

And, though my understanding's hazy,

I feel that Graphic Fiction's

Just a way of being lazy.

*

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DINGALING!

Sally answered her phone one day and heard the voice of a man.

Without the slightest preamble his rigmarole began.....

'Darling! I haven't slept a wink! I love you to distraction!

I know I was out of line last night! I regret each foolish action!

You're the only girl in the world for me! I'm speaking on my knees!

If I agree to your demands will you marry me please!

I agree to the triple-diamond ring, the one with the highest price.

And yes, your mother can live with us! I think that would be nice!

And yes, we'll buy that penthouse on the Gold Coast right away!

And yes, I'll even say those words, 'I promise to obey'!

Of course we'll have the reception on an ocean-going yacht!

And of course I'll be signing over half of everything I've got!

You know I love you madly. Please, please, please say 'Yes!'

And Sally replied 'Of course I will!...... Can I have your name and address?'

*

Suck It And See

THURSDAY THINK TANK
http://imaginationlane.blogspot.com/2011/02/thursday-think-tank-lemons.html

SUCK IT AND SEE

Lemon, hanging on the tree,

You are much too sour for me.

Though your peel's a perfect yellow,

Your juice is very far from mellow.

Though your shape is pure delight,

We aren't rewarded when we bite

Into your flesh, and take a suck!

We find that we are out of luck!

See that shrivelled-up grimace

Spreading over the sucker's face!

Pursed-up lips and slitty eyes

Prove a suck was not too wise!

Added to food and splashed about

You're something we can't live without.

 Your flavour's zingy and full of pep;

It puts a spring in every step.

Squeezed, you add a dash of pleasure,

That makes a lemon seem a treasure.

But,

Disregarding our cuisine......

Before we ventured on the scene.....

What did Nature have in mind

When you were so stupidly designed?

You were no good to man or beast!

I don't understand you in the least!

*

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YELLOW BIKINI

This bronzed and beautiful creature

With the very unlikely proportions,

Who looks to be ready for anything,

Involving unusual contortions,

Is displayed on the wall of our local club,

The Games Room, in actual fact;

A room which, on occasional mornings,

Is absolutely packed.

It's packed with Bingo players

All of a certain age,

Who come for a little diversion,

Bingo being the rage.

Imagine each grey head bending

Over the winning card,

And old ears listening for numbers,

When listening's rather hard.

Imagine the wistful glances

From a little wizened dame;

She looks at the yellow bikini,

Thinking 'I was just the same'.

Imagine too the old gaffer

Looking up with his one good eye

And returning to the Bingo

With a very audible sigh.

Of course, the same room in the evening

Is brim-full of lively youth,

Intent on a game of snooker

And jokes that are quite uncouth.

They can look up at the bikini

And hardly miss a beat,

Because she's in their here-and-now

And life is remarkably sweet.

But I think it would be kinder,

When the Pensioners use the hall,

To turn Miss Yellow Bikini

Discretely to the wall!

*

The Long Holiday

Not us, but the mood is identical!

BIG TENT POETRY

http://bigtentpoetry.org/2011/02/come-one-come-all-february-25/

 

THE LONG HOLIDAY

I'm well-aware Old Age can be

A time of great adversity,

And I don't want to make a joke

Out of the pain of other folk.

However, I am here to say

Retirement can be a holiday

For those of us who've had the luck

To age, yet not become unstuck.

*

Creaks? We've got them everywhere;

Also thinning or greying hair;

Replacement hips? Replacement knees?

Of course! For items such as these

Are part of the general wear and tear.

Perfect specimens are rare.

Comparing 'symptoms' is quite fun......

'Have you got one?' ......'Yes, I've got one.'

*

Now, if you're under thirty-five,

You'll think 'Why bother to survive

In such a state of sad decay?

These dogs have certainly had their day.

I'd simply take a little pill

If I were heading-off downhill!

Youth is passion, youth is vigour!

I'd hate my stomach to get bigger!'

*

Now, chickadees, turn your tiny brains

To all the many obvious gains!

I've been retired for twenty years

And every year I've raised three cheers!

Imagine a life in which you're free

To turn each day into a spree!

Wake when you like, and keep pursuing

All the things you most like doing!

*

When your turn comes I know you'll say

'Life's an unending holiday!'

*

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ACCENTUATE THE POSITIVE!

A placid scene of sea and sky.
But surely a giant shark floats by!
Surely I see a monstrous fin!
Against such a creature we cannot win!
In such terrible situations
Concentrate on the cloud formations!
It almost becomes your bounden duty
To fill your mind with surrounding beauty!
*