Xmas Play

SHIRLEY'S XMAS PLAY

Committee Members line up, divided into Sheep (head-bands with sheeps' ears on them) Kings (crowns) and Shepherds (tea-towels) . Sheep are Left. Kings are Central. Shepherds are Right.

Shirley stands to one side, half-facing Committee. All parts are read from scripts.

Shirley

(cross) Come on Committee This wont do!

Our Xmas presentation's due!

Why are you all hanging back!

Any minute you'll get the sack!

Step forward and do what I say.

Let us get this under-way!

Sheep

(complaining) But we're sick of being sheep;

And we think you're just a creep,

Asking us to stand and 'Baaa!'

How very, very mean you are!

We want to act as other things!

Why oh why can't we be Kings?

Kings

( turning towards Sheep) Kings you say! Oh what a fuss

Wanting to look the same as us!

Our crowns are scratchy as can be;

Our velvet robes weigh heavily.

We are feeling very hot. (Pause)

(wheedling, to Shirley) But being shepherds would hit the spot.

Shepherds

(turning toward Kings) You must be mad! We shepherds lie

In damp old fields beneath the sky!

Our clothes are drab, our dinners meagre;

Any wonder we're not eager!

(threatening Shirley) I tell you, we'll fall in a heap

If you wont let us all be sheep!

Shirley

(increasingly irate) Come on! Come on! Who's running this show!

If I say Yes you can't say No!

(to the audience) Honestly, folk, I'm at a loss;

They simply wont admit I'm boss!

(to Committee) You are what you are and that's a fact.

All you have to do is act.

Sheep

(begging and whimpering) You just don't understand us fully;

We're tired of being fat and woolly.

We're tired of eating dry old grass

We want parts that have more class.

Please, Shirley, let us have our way!

Let us be Kings in the Xmas play.

Kings

(in a huff) They're welcome to our part as Kings;

The royals carry heavy things.

Myrrh and frankincense and gold.

These are pretty tough to hold!

Shirley! Really! We beg you yield

And let us be Shepherds in the field!

Shepherds

(placating) Come on, Shirley! Just give in!

It's certain that we're going to win.

Let us be Sheep and we'll toe the line.

Your Xmas play will be just fine!

We'll gladly follow the shining star

If we are just allowed a 'Baaa!'

Shirley

(angrily) Cut the cackle! And be festive!

(pointing to audience) Look! The audience is restive.

They're tired of your stupidity.

Everyone's obeying me!

I am Shirley! I'm the boss!

None of you seem to give a toss!

Sheep

(sulking) Being a King is what we like.

We warn you! We will go on strike!

Kings

(firmly) Let us be shepherds or we'll quit

And that will be the end of it!

Shepherds

(threatening) Let us be sheep or your play's a failure.

We'll spread the news all over Australia.

Shirley

(sighing defeated) Oh for goodness sake, the lot of you.

Everyone do what you want to do! (Pause)

Come on Sheep, what do you say

If you take part in this wretched play?

Sheep

(meekly) ' We Three Kings from Orient are

And we've been following a star'

Shirley

And now the Kings; your sheep are grazing;

Please say something quite amazing.

Kings

(in a singsong manner) 'The angels sing, the star is bright.

And we are watching our flocks by night.'

Shirley

And now the Shepherds. Do your best.

The audience must be impressed.

Shepherds

(smugly) 'Baa and baa and baa and baa'

Now you see how clever we are.

Shirley

Well, we got there in the end.

Committees drive me round the bend.

They squabble and they can't agree

And no-one ever listens to me!

And now before we all depart

We'll sing a song right from the heart.

Song. To the tune of 'Three Ships.' All sing. Not too fast, to allow breaths at the end of each line.)

Our Xmas play was rather tough

And Shirley got in quite a huff.

But most of us don't give a stuff.

For we're enjoying our Xmas.

Committees can be very strange,

They always like to chop and change.

But here is hoping you'll arrange

To have a wonderful Xmas.

(slower) Yes! Have a wonderful Xmas.

(all, waving) Happy Xmas Everyone!

Another Reminder

ANOTHER REMINDER

You're reading this on your computer;

You had enough money to spend.

But some, these days, are penniless,

Their tether is at an end.

The Banks have all recovered;

They breathe a sigh of relief.

But many people are suffering still,

The 'Crunch' was hardly brief.

This man may just be fooling,

Playing games of 'Let's Pretend'.

On the other hand, his money

May have come to an end.

When you're buying expensive presents

And your turkey's big and fat,

Give a thought to this gentleman

In his brave little Santa hat.

*

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GIFTS

Do you recall a time when gifts were little things and cheap?

How Santa travelled light and saw you lying there asleep?

How a stocking was a stocking and it didn't weigh a tonne

And an orange in the toe was quite a prize that would be won?

How you woke up very early and sat up in your bed

With a thousand dreams of avarice circling in your head?

And how, in morning darkness, you felt that awkward bulge,

Which, in the coming daylight, something magic would divulge?

It might be a tiny dolly in a little knitted dress!

Oh that would bring the ultimate in childish happiness!

It might be a book of stories, just a tiny little book!

You couldn't wait for daylight! You just had to have a look!

You scrabbled round in darkness; the shape was hard, not soft,

Then guiltily you felt inside and held your gift aloft.

By feeling and by squinting you made your present out!

Why! Santa had excelled himself this year without a doubt!

It was a game of 'Tiddlywinks!' to play on Christmas Day!

You could practise in the morning! Mollee, too, could play!

Then you silently replaced the gift exactly as before,

And pretended to be fast asleep! Maybe you tried a snore!

A boxed game and an orange! Christmas promised bliss!

Do little children of today ever experience this?

*
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P.S.

We drove to the Central Coast yesterday to the funeral of an old friend, George. He was the husband of my colleague and friend, Toni, and we had known him for many years. He was a very genial man, quiet but always with a friendly smile. For the last five years his life had been blighted by Alzheimers Disease and he gradually shrank, both mentally and physically, but the smile persisted.

These were the grounds of the Crematorium. You must imagine a deafening sound of cicadas when you view this! As is the case with many funerals, the Wake was a delightful party that George would have enjoyed. I met so many old friends! Mostly teachers from twenty years ago and we enjoyed our recollections. So it was a bitter/sweet day.

*

The Magic Tree

THE MAGIC TREE

Once upon a time, not long ago,

The lands of heat and the lands of snow,

Were seperated at Xmas Time

By more than just the seasonal clime.

America and my home of Oz

Were strangers, each to each, because

Without the wonderful internet,

Spaced-out inhabitants never met!

America was 'over there',

A long long way! We didn't share

A single thing! Maybe a card,

But sending that was rather hard,

Involving envelopes and such,

And so we rarely kept in touch.

Yet here am I, (look and you'll see),

Up there on Patty's Xmas Tree!

'It's a small world', Patty, that's oh so true!

Just look what the internet can do!

*

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PS

We went out to dinner at our friends' house yesterday evening. Vera has great taste, as well as being a superb cook, so it was a good evening. (We're the poor relations!) I love the large mirrors in her sitting-room so I photographed them, and, of course, myself.