193. Bracket Creeps

BRACKET CREEPS

Maude Edpot (91)

Kills her lover with a gun.

Brad Bustley (42)

Drowns in a vat of glue.

Merle Tichmans (63)

Swims the Mediterranean Sea.

Rita Redbull (44)

Intends to move to Baltimore.

Ted Finchset (55)

Eats furry caterpillars, live!

Rob Applerum (26)

Enjoys doing his magic tricks.

Mary Rifford (37)

Seen here on holiday in Devon.

Paul Pliggot (88)

Says he intends to hibernate.

Joe Hickham (69)

Daily drinks four bottles of wine!

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Why does the local press,

Not content with name and address,

Have to state the subject's age

Clearly, on every printed page?

If I'm knocked over by a bus

I'll loudly scream and shout and cuss.

I'll quiver with my pent-up rage

But I certainly wont declare my age!

I won't be shouting out 'Yippee!

I'm in great pain, and I'm 73!'

Any reporter, standing by,

(Hoping that I'm going to die!)

May utter softly under his breath

'Looks 82 and near to death.'

I'll sturdily rise up from the ground,

Face those on-lookers standing round

And I'll declare 'Forget my age!

I'll sue if I see it on your page!

Write, if it's all the same to you
'Brenda,
MENTALLY TWENTY-TWO!'

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