MAGPIE TALES
supplied the illustration
BOOTLEG HOOCH
Al was desperate for a drink but the rain was pouring down;
The vendor of his bootleg hooch was on the other side of town.
May, his current floozie, was starting in to whine
'If your lips don't touch liquor they surely wont touch mine!'
'But May' said Al, 'It's raining! I'll be soaked to the skin!'
But he could tell by the look on her face he wasn't going to win.
She said 'Take my red umbrella!' And Al, of course, demurred
Saying 'That will ruin my image! I'll simply look absurd!'
However, May had tempting lips, so he took the red umbrella,
Hoping that people in the street would see he was a fella.
So Al collected his bootleg hooch and stayed as dry as a bone.
(I hope you enjoyed this insight into the life of Al Capone!)
*
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PROOF POSITIVE!
Freddy saw a tasty blonde on his way home one night.
And humanity persuaded him to ascertain her plight!!
She was standing on the pavement watching traffic passing by,
And as he slowed down near her she looked him in the eye.
'Hop in!’ he said; and so she did without a why or wherefore,
And Freddy never thought to ask what she was standing there for!
Although he had a feeling that the evening would be great
He thought it wise to chat a bit and didn't hesitate.
'So what do you do for a living?' he asked her most politely,
He knew it must be something that she had to work at nightly.
'I work as a magician' said the blonde with a little smile.
So Freddy thought he'd take a chance; give her magic tricks a trial.
It was then she proved her ability; she could do magic well.
For, when she touched him on the knee, he turned into a motel!
*
