Imagine the above illustration is a book-cover.
Would the following blurb make you want to read the book?
HELLHOLE HOTEL
by
Hortense Bing.
(Part three of the Trilogy: have you read 'Gruesome Garage?')
A stolen weekend at the Hellhole Hotel ....... the stuff of nightmares!
A blocked gutter leads to horror.
What does Pedro uncover up on the roof?
Whose body has been hacked into minute pieces?
Can the lovers escape the crazed hotelier?
And what is the secret that involves Amelia?
If she confesses she will lose her only chance of love.
In this unusual crime novel the reader is a suspect!
The Police Gazette: 'Crime detection at its best.' I have become a more successful policeman since I read this book' says Constable Plinth.
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FOOLED!
'I'll knit you a sweater, darling!' She said when the winds blew chill!
And when She threatens to do a thing you can bet your life she will!
I wanted to talk her language! I wanted to say, with tact,
'Don't make me look too stupid! Keep my dignity intact!'
You see, She's knitted some awful things, (from patterns on her Blog!)
And I'm a really masculine and roistering sort of dog.
Well, my name is Butch, for one thing; I'm the terror of our street!
All the lady dogs run after me and think I'm very sweet!
There are plenty of pups in the area that have a look of me!
So my image is most important! But not, it seems, to She!
Last year my jacket was lilac, with pink dots round the tail!
I yearn for something that tells the girls I'm very much a male!
Here it comes! She's knitted it! She says She thinks it's cool!
I simply cannot face you!
I feel such a Raspberry Fool!
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