PYKNIC PLEASURES
Forget about picnics beneath the trees,
A glass of wine and a hunk of cheese.
That the word has a certain similarity
Is certain to give rise to hilarity.
For 'pyknic' means 'to be short and stout'!
Not tall and lissom, without a doubt!
Take your trusty measuring tape
And if you are of a 'pyknic' shape,
You'll find, when measured overall,
You're just as wide as you are tall.
This condition is far from harmful;
It means that you're a cuddly armful.
You may wobble a bit it's true
But that simply adds to the charm of you.
Although you are not slim and slinky
Remember that you're plumply dinky.
It will come as no surprise
To learn that many folk like your size.
Tired of women who always diet,
They like you because you wont try it.
As for height, I've found, myself,
That when things are on the topmost shelf,
A packet or a sardine can,
I can find the nearest handsome man,
And, with youthful agility,
He will reach it down for me.
And, merely by saying a 'pretty please'
I may get a parting squeeze!
This doesn't happen often, mind you,
But who knows when romance will find you.
So never moan and never gripe.
Be glad that you're a 'pyknic' type.
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TASMANIAN DREAM
Tasmania is lush; the folk who live there love it.
Though it may be that foreigners may not yet have heard of it.
It's the little island state at the bottom of our land
And when one pays a visit it's not hard to understand
Why Tasmanians think the mainland is all too hot and dry;
Their state is blessed with water and here's the reason why.
The mountains to the west flow their waters to the east,
And in all the State's long history the flow has never ceased.
The Mainland is susceptible to drought with frequency;
Farmers without water are not a rarity.
Our agricultural industry is a backbone of our nation!
So I envisage a future time when the farmers all migrate
To the fertile plains of Tasmania, our little island state.
It's the very same size as Scotland, and so there's lots of room.
The idea has certainly made the news...... which is always full of gloom.
It wont be in my lifetime, maybe not for a hundred years,
But it seems a good solution, till a better one appears.
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