A Parody on 'I Get a Kick Out Of You'.
COLE SLAUGHTER!
I get no kick on a train.
I have to confess
That the fastest express
Makes me wish that all passengers flew.
But I get a kick out of you.
I get no kick from methane!
If I'm near a cow
When its taking a bow
You'll find I detest the old moo!
But I get a kick out of you.
I get a kick every time I see the hairs upon your chest, dear!
I get a kick though its clear that I will never see the rest, dear.
I get no kick in Ukraine
Fur hats and boots
And those grey Russian suits
Get me yearning for old Timbuktoo
But I get a kick out of you.
*
*
I get no kick in Bahrain
Those Caliphs and Sheiks
Haven't got what it takes,
And the sky is so boringly blue.
But I get a kick out of you.
I get no kick down the drain!
The rubbish and muck
And the spray from each truck
Make me very determined to sue!
But I get a kick out of you.
I get a kick when I feel you standing very near, Amigo!
I get a kick, though its clear that you don't ever stroke my ego.
I get no kick down a lane!
Mosquitoes and fleas
Come and nibble my knees
And at night I get dampened by dew.
But I get a kick out of you.
*
*
I get no kick from a chain!
I never can think
What to do with each link
And I can't cope with more than a few.
But I get a kick out of you.
I got no kick from Fontaine.
When she did a pose
On the tips of her toes
I was really quite bored with the view.
But I get a kick out of you.
I get a kick every time I catch a glimpse of your physique, dear.
I get a kick though I know, for sure, I'll only get a peek, dear.
I get no kick from my brain!
I feel out of sorts
When I think silly thoughts
And quite often I haven't a clue.
But I get a kick out of you.
*
*
I get no kick from a crane!
When I'm grabbed by the scoop
And start looping the loop,
I feel sure that I'm going to spew!
But I get a kick out of you.
I get no kick from champagne!
All that bubble and fizz
Makes me utter 'Gee whizz!'
Though I'm certain you're being untrue.
But I get a kick out of you.
I get a kick every time I hear you speaking on the phone, dear.
I get a kick though its clear that I will get a busy tone, dear.
I get no kick in the rain!
Each puddle and drip
Finds me losing my grip
And the thunder's a hullaballoo!
But I get a kick out of you.
*
*
I get no kick being plain!
My face, in repose,
Is all chin and all nose
And my features are somewhat askew.
But I get a kick out of you.
I'll get no kick being slain!
I'm certain that if
I begin to go stiff
All the worms will be wanting a chew!
But I get a kick out of you.
I get a kick like the kick you get from some gigantic horse, dear.
I get a kick and its all the fault of my great love, of course, dear.
I get a kick once again!
If they shout out 'Encore!'
I can do a lot more
And increasingly boringly too!
But I get a kick,
Oh what a kick,
I get a kick out of you.
*
