Not Myself!

MAXINE ON SATURDAY

NOT MYSELF!

When we say that good old phrase 'I'm not myself today'

It often means we're feeling rather down.

A little vague, a little drab, a little old and grey,

A little like a kitten we should drown.

 So what we're really saying is 'My normal self is pert,

Beautiful and vibrant  and erect;

Normally I'm comical, creative and alert

Good company and very circumspect!'

Only Maxine is quite honest; her imperfections rule;

She doesn't give a damn about pretense!

The Maxine who says she's 'herself' isn't anybody's fool.

Once again, Maxine, you speak a lot of sense!

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YELTSIN

Remember Boris Yeltsin? Russian boss?

Part hero, part buffoon as I recall.

Born at Yekaterinberg, so I have heard,

And destined first to rise and then to fall.

When he was baptised, so the history goes,

The priest was very, very, very drunk.

He dropped poor Boris right into the font,

Giving him a much more-than-usual dunk!

Throughout the winters in Siberia,

He was lucky if he even had a coat!

The children would be huddled round, not flames,

But the body of the family pet goat!

As a rebellious youngster he once stole

A hand-grenade from a nearby army store!

As he held it, it exploded in his hand

And his thumb and a single finger were no more!

He worked as a construction-worker first;

He had the strength, he also had the build.

But he was ambitious for much greater things,

Being determined, gruff and quite strong-willed.

Communism was his chosen creed,

He rose to status working in the Party.

He was part politicians' man,

And partly boozer, always rough and hearty.

In time he worked his way to power,

And became the chosen ruler of his land,

Though his mix of politician and buffoon

Was something very hard to understand.

He's remembered for the good and for the bad,

But his bravery was seen by everyone

When, in the thick of riots he spoke up,

Balanced on a tank and near a gun.

Towards the end he was drinking to excess

And he sang and danced his way upon life's stage;

One minute telling very silly jokes;

The next exploding in a mighty rage.

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Boris Yeltsin, let me tell you, was my twin!

Old England's daughter and Old Russia's son.

For both of us were born on the same day,

On the 1st of February 1931!

Aquarius was ruling at the time;

It should have influenced all our deeds and words!

I have a sneaky feeling that that proves

That Astrology is really for the birds!
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I don't drink and I'll never rise to positions of great power!
I'll never make a population praise or maybe cower!
Moreover, I'm a female and not Russian that's for sure!
(I don't think I'll bother with horoscopes any more!)

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