RUNNING ON EMPTY!
Cedric was no longer young; he was getting-on in years.
It was quite a while since he'd 'pulled a bird' or swung on the chandaliers.
Quite frequently he'd cast his eye on some delicious bimbo,
Only to find she turned-away, and he ended up in limbo.
However, on one Friday night he knew that he'd struck lucky;
A gorgeous girl came up to him and just said 'Lonely, ducky?'
All evening Cedric plied Cherie with food and drinks galore,
And he really felt that he had found just what he was looking for.
'I'd like to buy you a ring, my dear. I'm a lonely millionaire'
(Which wasn't true, but naughty Cedric never turned a hair!)
'Let's slip out to the jewellers, right now, this very minute.
I think we have a future and I'm eager to begin it.'
When they arrived at the jewellery store, the assistant hovered round
Saying 'These are the thousand dollar rings; they'll suit you, I'll be bound.'
"No, no' said Cedric 'Not at all! Bring the more expensive tray!
This lovely girl is so divine I don't care what I pay!'
Cherie was quivering with desire as she just stood there and listened!
Dollar signs were in her eyes and anticipation glistened.
She chose a ring for fifty thousand dollars right away
And Cedric went up to the desk only too pleased to pay.
Expansively he flashed his wallet. 'Will you take a cheque?'
The assistant answered 'Identity?' Cedric just said 'Oh heck!
I cannot prove my identity! But I have a great idea;
I'll sign the cheque right here and now and simply leave it here.
I'll bring documents in on Monday, if that's all right with you.
We'll collect the ring after the weekend; we may buy some earrings too'.
On Monday morning early Cedric got a call;
'There was nothing in your bank account. Nothing! Nothing at all!'
'That's all right' said Cedric 'Don't worry about it, friend!
I may not have any money,
But I've had a great weekend!'
If you like jokes in rhyme here are two more: