Fashion Statement

MAD KANE

gave us the (slightly altered) first line

FASHION STATEMENT

A woman would frequently pose

In very undignified clothes

On her feet she wore spats,

On her head she wore hats

And the parts in between simply froze.
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WHITE ON THE GREEN

I was on a shopping mission

When I espied this exhibition;

On the 'village green' in snowy white

A novel and refreshing sight.

Tae Kwon Do looks quite appealing;

Battles without a warlike feeling.

Self-defence is very sensible,

Though violence is reprehensible.

*

Spoil-Sport

MAD KANE

http://www.madkane.com/humor_blog/
gave us the first line

SPOIL-SPORT

A girl who was very refined

 Was offered some fun but declined

 Said she 'Understand, 

 I am untouched by hand ,

 And I do want that fact underlined.'

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CANDY FLOSS

Nutritional value? I'd say 'Nil'

Yet eating it is such a thrill.

Spun sugar on a little stick.

Too much of it can make you sick.

Pink and sweet and finger-licky,

Brittle,  bright and sugar-sticky!

Gooey lips and gooey nose,

Tacky pink stains on the clothes!

The tongue makes contact, makes a hole;

You're eating nothing! Bless my soul!

Part of summer in the sun,

Part of happy childhood fun.

Nutritional value? I'd say 'Nil'

Yet eating it is such a thrill.

*

Imaginary Colours

BLACK AND WHITE WEEKEND

http://blackandwhiteweekend.blogspot.com.au/

IMAGINARY COLOURS

Heat is yellow, heat is blue;

Everyone agrees that's true.

There's no colour in this shot

Yet, you'll agree, the scene is HOT!

Like painting-by-numbers we simply add

The colour that we know it had.

We feel the heat, enjoy the shade,

It's a Coloured Cavalcade.

*

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LAP MISHAP!

(The first line came from Mad Kane.)

A fellow was trying to dine

On a ship as it sailed down the Rhine.

But the sauerkraut spilt

All over his kilt

And the Germans all shouted out 'Nein!

*

Wrong Climate

MAD KANE

http://www.madkane.com/humor_blog/

gave us the first line.

WRONG CLIMATE

A woman displayed her dismay

When invited to ride in a sleigh.

She was in Timbuctoo

So snowflakes were few.

She'd have been better off in Bombay!

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PUFF BALL

Puff-ball perfection, white upon white;

Each flower identical, rotund and bright.

A bold sphere of elegance heralding Spring

And all the delights that the season will bring.

A big side-walk bonus that lights up the street.

A bubble of brilliance to prove life is sweet.

*

Flecting Again

SUNDAY SCRIBBLINGS

http://sundayscribblings.blogspot.com.au/

FLECTING AGAIN

The first time I tried flecting it gave me such a thrill

That I decided to flect again and I do it with a will.

I advise you all to try it; it doesn't take much skill;

And if you're ever feeling bored flecting fits the bill.

The first time I tried flecting I shouted out 'Yippee!'

And everybody looked around shocked at my levity.

'I'm flecting!' I explained to them 'Come and flect with me!

Flecting is so desirable it should be compulsory.'

Of course, I'm an expert flector, flecting again and again,

I find that the constant exercise does wonders for the brain.

I'm now an expert re-flector, treating with disdain

Those who will not flect with me. They really are a pain!

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MAD KANE

http://www.madkane.com

gave us the first line

TUT-TUT!

A woman was trying to show

That she was as pure as the snow

She chastised the blokes

For telling rude jokes

So they said 'Goodbye', not 'Hallo'.

*

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Crying Shame!



LIMERICK
http://workofthepoet.blogspot.com/
Using the words in blue.

CRYING SHAME!

A woman who readily cried

Was unable to act as a bride.

She cried the night through

With a loud 'Boo Hoo Hoo!'

Which the new husband couldn't abide!

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GONE BUT NOT FORGOTTEN

'My World' but such a different one

From the one I enjoy today.

A world that has gone forever,

'The Past' in every way.

In this church I was christened,

It is here my father preached;

And only stone's throw over the hill

The 'Dunkirk' boats were beached.

For this was Wartime Britain

And soon came evacuation

Which changed my life for evermore

Beyond all imagination.

When last in Britain I visited

Old haunts, to pay respect,

But 'Holy Trinity' was no more!

Well, what did I expect?

Demolished for high-rises,

That was its destiny,

But at least one person remembers.

It's still part of 'my world' for me.

*

Vulgar Limerick!

MAD KANE'S HUMOR BLOG

http://www.madkane.com/humor_blog/

The first line was suggested by Mad Kane! As an Aussie I had to guess what 'buns' were, but I think I got it right!

VULGAR LIMERICK!

A man who was known for his buns,

Declared 'I know everyone shuns

A lack of division!
It causes derision!
They must come in twos and not ones!'

Now another one in case I jumped to conclusions!

A man who was known for his buns,

Said 'I bake them for Goths and for Huns.

I find if I drop

A cherry on top

They don't notice the pale under-dones!'

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This is not me OR Granny Smith!

Dedicated to Granny Smith

http://phyllisophy.blogspot.com/2010/08/green-is-for-grannys-green-fingernail.html

See what she's done about it!

INVISIBILITY!

Invisibility!

It'll happen to you! You'll see!

One day you'll be striding along,

Whistling, and humming a song,

Lithe and bright and hearty,

Life being one long party;

People greeting you in the street

Saying 'Gosh! You're so great to meet!';

Thinking 'I'm ME for evermore!

I wonder what goodies are in store';

And, suddenly, bent back, grey hair!

And you become nothing but a 'spare'!

Someone at the traffic lights

Who shouldn't be still alive by rights!

Someone who should be moving on

'And we wont even notice when you've gone!'

But, friends, don't let them do it to you!

Don't let them try to look right through you!

Speak up! Speak out! Though you are a pest!

Even though 'they're' not impressed!

Answer back! And push right in!

Being 'you' is not a sin!

Shout out loud 'Hey folks! It's ME!'

No more invisibility!

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