MY TRUE COLORS
'I'll knit you a sweater, darling!' She said when the winds blew chill!
And when She threatens to do a thing you can bet your life she will!
I wanted to talk her language! I wanted to say, with tact,
'Don't make me look too stupid! Keep my dignity intact!'
You see, She's knitted some awful things, (from patterns on her Blog!)
And I'm a really masculine and roistering sort of dog.
Well, my name is Butch, for one thing; I'm the terror of our street!
All the lady dogs run after me and think I'm very sweet!
There are plenty of pups in the area that have a look of me!
So my image is most important! But not, it seems, to She!
Last year my jacket was lilac, with pink dots round the tail!
I yearn for something that tells the girls I'm very much a male!
Here it comes! She's knitted it! She says She thinks it's cool!
I simply cannot face you!
I feel such a Raspberry Fool!
SHOW A LEG!
Before the 1840s when the sailors went to sea
They lacked the obvious benefits of female company!
So, when the ship sailed into port every sailor had the right
To ask a lady-friend on board so she could stay the night!
(The sailors slept in hammocks, in a very communal way,
So about that situation there's little I care to say!)
Let's move right on to the morning, when the sailors had their duties
And they weren't allowed to hang-around with their nocturnal beauties.
The boatswain's mate came round to see the state of all the pairing;
Which hammocks held one body, and which others showed signs of sharing!
'Show a leg!' he'd bellow as he strode between the ranks,
(As you can guess the sailors didn't offer up their thanks!)
Everyone had to show a leg, be it quite smooth or hairy,
A prospect I'd have found to be quite definitely scary.
The Boatswain yelled 'Jump to it, boys! Ain't no man can refuse!'
The 'ladies' were allowed to snuggle down for one more snooze!
So next time you yell 'Show a leg!' as you quite often do,
Remember that you owe those words to the boys in navy blue!