Cole Slaughter!

A Parody on 'I Get a Kick Out Of You'.

COLE SLAUGHTER!

I get no kick on a train.

I have to confess

That the fastest express

Makes me wish that all passengers flew.

But I get a kick out of you.

I get no kick from methane!

If I'm near a cow

When its taking a bow

You'll find I detest the old moo!

But I get a kick out of you.

I get a kick every time I see the hairs upon your chest, dear!

I get a kick though its clear that I will never see the rest, dear.

I get no kick in Ukraine!

Fur hats and boots

And those grey Russian suits

Get me yearning for old Timbuktoo

But I get a kick out of you.
*

I get no kick in Bahrain!

Those Caliphs and Sheiks

Haven't got what it takes,

And the sky is so boringly blue.

But I get a kick out of you.

I get no kick down the drain!

The rubbish and muck

And the spray from each truck

Make me very determined to sue!

But I get a kick out of you.

I get a kick when I feel you standing very near, Amigo!

I get a kick, though its clear that you don't ever stroke my ego.

I get no kick down a lane!

Mosquitoes and fleas

Come and nibble my knees

And at night I get dampened by dew.

But I get a kick out of you.
*

I get no kick from a chain!

I never can think

What to do with each link

And I can't cope with more than a few.

But I get a kick out of you.

I got no kick from Fontaine.

When she did a pose

On the tips of her toes

I was really quite bored with the view.

But I get a kick out of you.

I get a kick every time I catch a glimpse of your physique, dear.

I get a kick though I know, for sure, I'll only get a peek, dear.

I get no kick from my brain!

I feel out of sorts

When I think silly thoughts

And quite often I haven't a clue.

But I get a kick out of you.
*

I get no kick from a crane!

When I'm grabbed by the scoop

And start looping the loop,

I feel sure that I'm going to spew!

But I get a kick out of you.

I get no kick from champagne!

All that bubble and fizz

Makes me utter 'Gee whizz!'

Though I'm certain you're being untrue.

But I get a kick out of you.

I get a kick every time I hear you speaking on the phone, dear.

I get a kick though its clear that I will get a busy tone, dear.

I get no kick in the rain!

Each puddle and drip

Finds me losing my grip

And the thunder's a hullaballoo!

But I get a kick out of you.
*

I get no kick being plain!

My face, in repose,

Is all chin and all nose

And my features are somewhat askew.

But I get a kick out of you.

I'll get no kick being slain!

I'm certain that if

I begin to go stiff

All the worms will be wanting a chew!

But I get a kick out of you.

I get a kick like the kick you get from some gigantic horse, dear.

I get a kick and its all the fault of my great love, of course, dear.

I get a kick once again!

If they shout out 'Encore!'

I can do a lot more

And increasingly boringly too!

But I get a kick,

Oh what a kick,

I get a kick out of you.

*