Saturday, July 12, 2008

Gold-Digger!

A segment from another of my melodramas, 'Jewelled Jeopardy'. Maisie is a lady who can only be described as a Gold-Digger. She has recently married a rich man, but she has no intention of being a dutiful wife, in any way whatsoever! In fact, she is planning her husband's death! The melody, if used, is Post-1923.
GOLD-DIGGER!
Maisie Speaking.
Spoken introduction.

My duty, you say! Well that's a surprise!
I shall do what I like so you just get wise!
I may have been eager in Teneriffe,
But that fling, my dearest, was, luckily, brief!
I may have caressed you in Barcelona,
But, from now on, you will be a loner!
I may have looked lively when in Westminster,
But, in future, you'll treat me as a Spinster!
I may have been passionate on the cruise,
But now, my dear, I win, you lose!

Song: to the tune of 'I'm Gonna Wash that Man right Outa My Hair'.
I couldn't quite believe how silly you were!/ And how you handed over diamonds and fur!/ While all I had to do was cuddle and purr/ And hope for your demise!/ I've had a lot of practice with other men,/ That's why I always know just when to say when./ And this is'when', my friend. Don't ask me again!/ We'll never harmonise./ Don't try to pamper me!/ That'll just hamper me./ Don't try exciting me,/ Even delighting me./ On your bike and hit the road!/ Hey mister!/ I've won the jackpot and I won't do without!/ I'm a material girl, without any doubt./ So go to bed, my dear. I fear youre locked out!/ Forget domestic ties!/

From the start my eyes were popping/ At your wallet's bulging size!/ But, my dear,/ Now I'm here / It's the time to make things clear!/ You are yesterday's fellow!/ You've been cut down to size!/ I'll be off to do some shopping/ I refuse to compromise!/ Cut out charm!/ Grease my palm!/ I view you with some alarm!/ Learn the flute or the cello!/ I've been telling you lies!/ Oh yes! Oh yes!/

It was a simple ruse to get at your dough/ And, now it's mine, you'll find I always say 'No!'/ And, even though you'll say it's rather a blow,/ It's quite within the law./ Although your heart will bleed, I won't give a hoot/ For I would like to give this marriage the boot/ So long as I'm awarded half of the loot!/ You're just a man of straw!/ Don't try to wheedle me!/ That'll just needle me!/ Don't try extolling me,/ Even cajoling me!/ Just back off and leave me be!/ Hey mister!/ Now I've a house and home as grand as can be/ And I have servants who'll be working for me,/ I'm just as pleased as Punch for I am quite free/ To lock my bedroom door!/

20 comments:

B said...

Hello....love your "rinkly rimes"...my Mother used to write poetry much like yours, for holidays and our birthdays! (miss her and her poems so much). Hard to think it's winter somewhere when it's 96 degrees with 90% humidity here! Thanks for the visit...I"ll be back to yours! Billie

Bear Naked said...

Oh I wish I could go see that play.
Sounds like it is going to be very funny.
Hope your not freezing in your winter right now.
It is 28 with a humidex of 36 at the moment where I live.

I'll be back tomorrow (you teaser.)

Bear((( )))

Indrani said...

Amazing, a gold digger can evoke so many lines of poetry!
Enjoyed reading the lines. :)

Maggie May said...

That was funny and very good! Enjoyed your dolly story in my comment box.

Kat said...

Sometimes I have to pinch myself to reality, that I am reading poetry....!!!!

Was feeling like punching Maisie on the nose :)))))

Tracy said...

That was very good. Loved it

Jackie said...

I resemble a lot like that woman lol God help me! I like shutting the door :p

Rocky Mountain Woman said...

Lovely little dittie....

Nora Johnson said...

So witty! Such a clever post!

Happy Alphabe-Thursday,

XOXO Lola:)

EG Wow said...

I enjoyed the poetry and will probably be singing that tune all night now. :) I see you have been blogging for quite a while! I'm glad I finally found you - a few weeks or months ago!

JDaniel4's Mom said...

Wonderful!Wonderful! Wonderful! This is so well done.

Teresa said...

Certainly, she is a gold digger! Very delightful little ditty!

Jo said...

whew! quite the tale ... quite the gold digger ... this was so very well done ... but did have me nervous for a bit.

My name is PJ. said...

You are a riot!!!

Gattina said...

Since today I never had planned my husband's death, lol ! Don't give me bad ideas !

Sue said...

heehee

Fun and funny rhymes!

=)

Judie said...

Hahaha! Just wonderful! I enjoyed every line!!

Jenny said...

What a GGGGGreat stop on our little journey through Alphabe-Thursday!

This was really neat...and when I sang it to the melody it was super cool!

Thanks for sharing your talents with us today!

This was such a fun post.

A+

Jingle said...

golden digger,
wow.
lovely take on G.

H said...

Oooh! Nassssty piece of work! Scheming, plotting, conniving, treacherous little hinny!

Great lyrics