Sometimes I play around with ready-written jokes. The story may not be mine and the author is probably ANON , but the doggeral approach can turn a little quip into a reasonable short monologue. I find such treatment has often saved the day. Today my Probus Choir is performing at a Retirement complex. I think I'll try this one out!
THAT BITING REMARK!
Two ladies of a certain age were sitting drinking tea,
Sophisticated ladies, or else trying hard to be:
Both of the pearls-and-twin-set type, a fashion quite outmoded.
Suddenly Muriel questioned Maude and, my, was the question loaded!
'Those pearls…..they can't be real, dear! They're much too big and bright.'
'I assure you' tartly answered Maude,'These pearls are real all right!'
'I simply don't believe you! They're fake, of that I'm sure!'
'Of all the mean remarks!' snapped Maude 'I just can't take much more!'
Said Muriel 'Let me bite one; biting a pearl is best.
I wonder if you're brave enough to put it to the test!'
Smiled Maude 'I'm sorry, darling! The pearls are real, it's true:
But, you see, my dear, to bite real pearls, only real teeth will do!'