Flashback

FLASHBACK!

Somewhere between sleeping and waking

Lies the Flashback Zone.

Long nights holds no fears;

My slumber is black velvet

And dreamless.

Bright days contains no ghosts;

My waking hours are a frenzy

Of all too concrete thought.

But lie down

On a couch,

Relaxed,

At ease,

Not a care in the world,

And the Flashbacks

Pounce!

What if he'd drowned!

What if he'd fallen off the wall?

Why did I do that?

What a stupid remark to make?

Age-old horrors

From almost forgotten films.....

'Give Us This Day',

A man drowning in liquid concrete;

The mouth slowly filling;

The eyes wide in realisation!

And everything is so real

In the Flashback Zone!

My heart races,

My palms sweat,

I even articulate

'Oh no!'

To an empty room!

I am wide awake,

Laughing at myself,

In an instant.

But my body is still fooled.

Long after, I feel cold,

Jumpy,

Almost depressed.

*

And I think of soldiers....

Vietnam, Iraq, Afghanistan.

How can they bear it.....

The Post Traumatic Flash-back?

*

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BE STILL!

The mind needs stillness and acceptance

To reach its full potential.

The mind rails against stillness and acceptance

For it needs to plan, rule and dominate.

Say 'Be still' to your mind

And it will analyse the command.

How to be still.

Why to be still.

Where to be still.

What trigger to use?

What mental picture to paint?

What mantra to recite?

Even as it seeks stillness

It creates chaos.

'This is not still enough!

Where am I going wrong?'

Like sleep, stillness can evade us.

The sheep we are counting

Can huddle and bleat disturbingly.

The silly mind

Will seek for distinguishing

Marks on the fleece

'Wolf in sheep's clothing'.

Who said that?

Stop it!

Be still!'

'I am accepting'

I murmur.

But 'sheep' have bleated their way
Into my mind!

Shall we have lamb chops for supper tonight?'

*