Scentsational!

FASCINATING BOOK COVERS
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SCENTSATIONAL

This book is in praise of 'the nose', the dog's nose to be precise.

And, truly, it is remarkable, an astonishing device.

You have five million receptors, give or take a few.

A dog has two-hundred-and-twenty million...... rather more than you.

A dog's life is dominated by all the smells around;

That's why he's always sniffing, with his nose down to the ground.

It seems smell is his language, far more than bark or growl;

That's why he aims for trees and fences when out on the prowl.

He smells his old mate's urine and works out 'Fred's been here!'

And the smell of a lady (a canine one) is very, very clear.

In some ways, I envy a dog's life, for look at all we miss;

But, in some ways, I'm inclined to think that ignorance is bliss.

I can think of a thousand people  I wouldn't want to smell,

And smelling every drain around, well, that would be pure hell!

No, let dog's keep their noses; at least we thrill to colour;

They tell me a dog sees mostly grey.

His life must be much duller.

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The book above employs a smell system, so that readers can smell the sea etc when reading it.

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DEEP PURPLE
A parody on a famous song.

When the Deep Purple falls
Over sleepy garden walls
And the ducks begin to gather in the shade.
Then we know that it's summertime.
Life can be so sublime
Here in this deep purple glade.
When the shade from the trees
Paints deep shadows such as these
And all creatures long for burning rays to fade,
It is here that we make our way
When it's a sunny day.
Bliss is a Deep Purple Shade.
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Jack Frost

JACK FROST!

Blue with cold! A blue, blue day
With Jack Frost rollicking on his way,
Nipping the fingers and the toes;
Making a cherry of a little red nose.
Trees a'sparkle, azure sky,
Flakes of fresh snow drifting by.
Send some of your chill down here
Where it's the hottest time of year!

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SURE BET!

The gentlemen were gathered in a group at the casino

And the stakes were getting higher all the time,

When, waltzing in came Lulu from the beach at Portofino,

And she soon complained she'd only got one dime.

'I know!' she cried, excitedly,'I'll risk all on one throw!

If I win I'll get a thousand! If I lose

I'll merely leave the table  and you'll scarcely see me go,

And I'll slink away and simply nurse my blues.'

'O.K.' said all the gentlemen, 'Pay up just what you've got

And take the risk! We know you'll never win!'

'Well, first' said Lulu, 'I must strip!  I'm feeling rather hot!

And I always have more luck when in my skin!'

So very, very slowly, she peeled off all her clothes,

And she stood there looking wonderfully curved.

The gentlemen were gob-snacked by her delicious pose

And, quite honestly, they found themselves unnerved!

Lulu threw the dice and then let out a joyous scream!

'I've won! ' she shouted, jumping up and down;

'I've won a thousand dollars! That's always been my dream!

And now I'll go and spend it in the town!'

She grabbed her clothes and money and left with an 'Adieu!

Leaving the men the victims of a crime.

And not a single one recalled the number that she threw!

They'd been looking at the lady all the time!
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P.S

Xmas festivities continue apace. Today we had our Probus Club Xmas Party. We tried out a new venue and discovered that the food was delicious. Our only complaint was that the room was very noisy, with metal chairs on a wooden floor, and dozens of women chattering! The restaurant, which is new, was called 'Sprouts' which I think is an odd name as sprouts are the most disliked vegetable in Australia!

'Sprouts' wasn't right by the river, but we could see the cargo ships sailing up-stream from there.

There was a hubub when we all got together.

The Committee members staged a silly, brief skit I'd written.  I am, believe it or not, dressed as a Turkey on the right! Unfortunately the turkey impression is lost in this photo! Malcolm had made it so that it was a cooked turkey on a plate (hat). It even had legs sticking up, decorated with frills! You'll just have to imagine it!

I include a special photograph of my friend Joy Hughes who was dressed as Mince Pies! This is because she's one of the few people I know who actually looks at my blog!!!!!!

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