RINKLY RIMES

Well I Never!

2012-02-01T15:09:00.000+11:00

WATERY WEDNESDAY

http://waterywednesday.blogspot.com.au

WELL I NEVER!

When we went to Hornsby we saw it standing there,

The oddest sort of fountain in the middle of the square!

It looked made from bits and pieces, but it was a working clock!

I must say that the sight of it gave me quite a shock.

It seems it's been there donkey's years and the folk don't turn a hair.

They're really quite devoted to their monster in the square!

The water tinkled pleasantly on a rather humid day,

So I decided I would let the monster fountain stay.

-------------------------------------------------------

HORSE-TRADING

Alf went to some stables, eager to buy a horse
Saying 'I want a specimen without a flaw, of course.'
'That one looks good' said Alf at last, pointing to a grey.
The trader, Bob, responded 'Well, there's something I must say....
That horse, Charlie, well, you know, I'd sell him if I could,
But I have to be honest, that horse don't look too good.'
Said Alf 'Well, he looks good to me! Just look at that shiny mane!'
'No, he just don't look too good,' Bob responded again.
'I've looked him over from top to toe and he looks good to me.
He's just what I've been looking for, as far as I can see.'
So Alf took the grey horse home with him and saddled it for a ride.
As soon as he was on it it swayed from side to side!
Then it bumped into a wall, and then into a shed,
Then it tripped and Alf went sailing right over the horse's head!
Next day he took the grey horse back saying 'Look here! I find
That the horse you sold me yesterday is absolutely blind!'
Said Bob 'I made it perfectly clear that Charlie couldn't see!
I told you he don't look too good but you wouldn't listen to me!'
*
-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Comfort Clothes

2012-02-01T06:49:00.000+11:00

ABC WEDNESDAY

COMFORT CLOTHES

I can nap in anything, Maxine!

And nothing too, if you know what mean!

After lunch I go all sort of limp

And lose the urge to titivate or primp.

The nearest couch just beckons and I flop;

No matter that I'm in my sequined top!

Creases? I say who cares about a crease?

All I ask is an hour or two of peace.

But when it comes to comfort I insist

That comfortable shoes are on my list.

Should I attempt high heels I simply stagger;

Not for me the slinky walk or martial swagger!

I get a pained expression on my face

As I'm limping at an ever-slower pace.

Yes! Comfortable shoes are what I need.

A sure sign that I'm very old indeed!

But wait! There is that other irritation,

A quite unnecessary complication!

Those little tags and labels at the neck

Which make my skin an itchy scratchy wreck!

Labels never worried me before!

But now I find they make me really sore!

Ban them, I say! Our simply cut them out!

Surely they're something we could do without!

And so, Maxine, I have a carefree snooze.

Relaxing in 'no tags' and comfy shoes!

------------------------------------------------------------------------

WINTER WHINE
She tied me up in the shadows, but at least I've found the sun!
But doesn't she even realise she left my coat undone!
It's really very wintry, there's a bitterness in the breeze!
The only good thing that I can see is it's killed-off all my fleas!
I'm looking at the store-front with a very longing look.
She's inside in the heating and I jolly well hope she'll cook!
She's left me here to shiver; she didn't put on my vest!
I'm absolutely certain I'll get a cold on my little chest!
'Man's Best Friend!' Now there's a laugh! Ah yes! Now I can see!
She's sitting in the cafe, there, having a cup of tea!
When she returns she'll pat my head saying 'Good dog! Shake hands! Beg!'
But I will look disdainful
And bite her on the leg!
*

Zealot

2012-01-31T04:42:00.001+11:00

OUR WORLD TUESDAY
http://ourworldtuesdaymeme.blogspot.com

ZEALOT

It's not as though there were monsters swimming off our beach today!

It's not as though a battleship was heading-in our way.

I shaded my eyes with my hands and looked at the unremarkable waves,

I couldn't see any swimmers being saved from very close shaves!

The sea was flat and quite benign with hardly a sea-gull in sight

And the sky was blue and peaceful and the sun was an average bright.

What was this little man waiting for, there on the deserted beach?

Was it some passing dolphins he hoped to come within reach?

He was there when I walked along westward, and there when I came back east,

And nothing in the world seemed to worry him in the least.

Quite motionless he stood there: he must have had time to kill!

I'll have another look tomorrow! He might be down there still!
*
-----------------------------------------------------------------

FOOT IN MOUTH DISEASE!

It's dangerous stuff, spontaneity!

I've tried it and I can attest

That thinking things over quite calmly

Is always undoubtedly best.

I've opened my mouth far too often

With what I consider a quip

To realise I should have waited,

Avoiding a terrible slip.

It's pleasant to make people giggle,

One feels like a really bright spark,

But the horrible pause on completion

Shows I've been over-stepping the mark.

I've made more than one nasty boo-boo,

Upsetting the people I love.

Avoid those spontaneous wisecracks

Like those in the picture above!

Action

2012-01-30T12:30:00.000+11:00

SUNDAY SCRIBBLINGS

http://sundayscribblings.blogspot.com
chose the topic

ACTION

As in very many cases seek for moderation.

Action's fine but never when it leads to perturbation.

Inaction's merely laziness, and not to be admired,

So what to do when a worthy cause gets ones spirits fired?

Sitting in an armchair and bemoaning this and that,

Being utterly inactive except for winge and chat,

Does nothing to improve life or help a worthy cause.

Things will always stay the same.....even unjust laws.

But go out and join a rabble, spill blood along the way,

And no-one takes much notice of the things one has to say.

The message is forgotten in the screaming and the din,

And, when there's too much action, no-one's going to win.

It's hard to tread the tightrope between mobs and lazy sloth;

But we have to find a middle course; we've certainly tried both.

Only civilising discourse can improve a situation.

Action's fine but only when it's tinged with moderation.

---------------------------------------------------------------

LEGS' LABOURS LOST!

Long lissom legs;

Luscious lips, half parted.

Corrugated hair, blonde, bottle blonde.

The Beauty Spot.

The Widow's Peak.

The Kiss Curl.

The Cupid's Bow.

Gone.

All gone.

Eyes wide! But not with innocence.

Fixed smiles,

With nerves chattering at the corners of the mouths.

Bountiful thighs, no longer fashionable.

Eager faces.

Oh so eager....

For Fame.

'Please let him notice me!'

'I kick higher than she does!'

'Is my lipstick smudged?'

'This is my last chance.'

We see them, time and time again, in the background of old movies.

Fred and Ginger take centre-stage.

And, behind them the girls line-up.

This could be IT!

Kick! Kick! Kick!

Higher! Higher! Higher!

Arms around another's waist,

But not out of affection.

More like hatred.

'Surely Busby Berkely looked my way!'

The Tin Pan Alley music is full of hope.

And so are they.

But we know something they don't know:

That they will never make it.

Time will defeat them.

They will join us at the kitchen sink.

And a new crop of dewy-eyed babes will come along.

These are not great tragedies, as tragedies go.

At least, one day, they will be able to say to their grandchildren

'I was in a film once'

That will be their only reward.

Maybe now they're high-kicking on a cloud!

Maybe now they're looking down at us thinking

'I bet you never danced with Fred Astair.'

Dare to be Different

2012-01-30T08:48:00.000+11:00

Kandinsky

MAGPIE TALES

http://magpietales.blogspot.com

supplied the illustration

DARE TO BE DIFFERENT

Try to see the world anew;

Not the way that others do.

Artists with a new perception

Send the world in a new direction.

Kandinsky was right out on a limb

And nobody thought much of him,

When he painted the above;

They said 'What are you thinking of?'

(Forgive my ignorance, it could be

That this was painting thirty-three!)

Though this work is so surreal

I can see some apple peel;

You may see a fair-ground scene

Or a dance on the village green.

All he saw was a 'Red Spot'!

Like the painting or like it not,

His work, at the time, was a surprise;

He had looked through different eyes.

Don't let society dictate

What is acceptable and great.

Dare to be different! You may find

The world is following-on behind.

----------------------------------------------------------------

TATTERED TEDDY

I wish I were a tattered bear

With not a single stitch to wear,

With paws all worn and velvet scuffed

And fur a single mangey tuft.

I wish my eyes were not quite there

Giving a sort of anguished stare.

I wish my nose hung by a thread,

Not central, but side-on instead.

I wish my mouth had come askew,

As mouths of old bears often do.

I wish my ears had lost their lift,

Doing a sad and downward shift.

I wish I were lying by myself

On someone's high neglected shelf!

Why do I wish for this sad fate?

Because, I know if I only wait.....

That Someone will rescue me one day

In a delightful sort of way.

She'll make me paw-pads out of suede!

No finer paws, I think, are made.

With finest wool and thread she'll sew

A mouth like a perfect Cupid's Bow.

And then she'll add a nose as well,

So real it almost seems to smell!

And now the best part, button eyes,

Widening with new-found surprise!

She'll add a jacket, brilliant red,

And a little hat for my furry head.

Two holes where both my ears will go

So that they'll know which way to grow.

Then a gift tag round my neck will say

'A brand new bear for Christmas Day!'

But. alas, I'm human, not a bear

And my increasing wear and tear

Can't be put right with a handy thread,

A loving needle and coat of red.

I'll have to strive and play my part

To preserve the youth of my inmost heart,

So that, though age I cannot hide,

I'll still declare with joyful pride

'The outside's not too debonaire

But INSIDE I'm a brand new Bear!'

Smellow!

2012-01-30T07:34:00.001+11:00

MELLOW YELLOW MONDAY

http://mellowyellowmonday.blogspot.com

SMELLOW!

Surely there was some mistake!

When they advertised The Yellow Lake,

He pictured one bedecked with flowers,

Maybe sweet mimosa bowers.

He imagined exotic hills

Decked with something like daffodils!

He pictured yellow birds on high

Under the bright blue African sky.

He imagined sweetness, silly fellow,

When the 'ad' said 'Come to Yellow'.

But his trip to Ethiopia

Was designed by someone with myopia!

Sulphur is causing this bright hue,

And you know what sulphur fumes can do!

Rotten eggs smell of the stuff!

There! I think I've said enough!

When you get your travel-brochure

Make sure that everything is kosher .

His travel agent will get the sack.

AND he'll ask for his money back!

------------------------------------------------

Gerald Gee

GEE WHIZ!

Every colour on earth is there,

Suspended in the middle air!

And every sound on earth is there

Caught in a second rich and rare!

Can't you hear them, Can't you see?

How rich a monochrome can be!

Tantrum

2012-01-29T22:35:00.000+11:00

THEME THURSDAY

http://www.theme-thursday.com

suggests the topic 'storm'

TANTRUM

Suddenly a storm arrives

To cause disruption in our lives

Oh the yelling, stamping, screaming!

Rain in the form of tears comes teeming.

Madam likes to kick and shout.

But, in a moment, the sun comes out!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

COMPATIBILITY CHECK

ARIES with LIBRA

Aries lacks sophistication, something Libra likes.

I can't see you on a tandem; you should stick to separate bikes!

Your bodies may seem in harmony, but your minds are poles apart,

Though you kid yourselves you’re soul-mates, right at the very start.

When it's just a matter of having fun, you make a perfect pair,

But the good times soon evaporate, off into thin air!

Both of you like socialising, but both need something more;

When it comes to conversation, Aries proves to be a bore.

Libra is a Peace sign and Aries loves a fight;

Conflict makes one uneasy, while the other feels just right.

Libra's indecisive, which drives poor Aries mad,

While Libra finds Aries boorish , which is really rather sad.

Though you're shooting stars in the bedroom, this fact can quickly pall;

When people can't be friends, you see, sex means nothing at all.

Aries acts romantic, but only to one end,

While Libra fantasises about a truly sensitive friend.

Better enjoy a brief affair and get out while you can!

Another case of 'Don't call the Banns!

You’re better with a Ban!

History Repeats Itself

2012-01-29T18:54:00.000+11:00

The Wordle

THE SUNDAY WHIRL
http://sundaywhirl.wordpress.com
asks us to use the twelve words in the Wordle

HISTORY REPEATS ITSELF

It all began in anguish;

Our green earth born in flame;

With volcanic shocks

From melting rocks

This peaceful planet came.

And then our earth was frozen;

The permeable soil turned to ice.

All was white

And hard and bright

Not just once, but twice.

And now our earth seems settled,

Serenity seems the norm,

We wash our feet

In fields fresh and sweet

Apart from the occasional storm.

But, sometimes, something startles

Us out of our seeming calm.

Intimations of slaughter

By fire, ice or water

Still fill us with alarm.

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THE WONDROUS WAYS

I've never been to Lincolnshire

And the time to go is past.

But the lovely lanes of Lincolnshire

Have caught me and held fast.

The dreamy curves all overhung

With shades of vivid green.

The gate-posts and the fences

And the tufted grass between.

The wondrous ways of England

That I didn't know I'd missed.

And the lovely lanes of Lincolnshire

Leading on into the mist.

The land I've chosen spreads so wide

It's greens are muted, soft.

The gums shine silver overhead

And hold their leaves aloft.

The brilliant blue of summer skies

Arcs daily overhead

And the heart of this great country

Is like blood, a brilliant red.

But a lingering love of England

Is still with me, so it seems

And the lovely lanes of Lincolnshire

Lead on into my dreams.

The cottages, the village greens,

The cricketers in white

The 'chintzy chintzy cheeriness'

The misty moisty light.

They tell me life has undergone

Some sorry alterations

They tell me mine's the biased view

Of older generations.

They tell me nothing's permanent

And dreams aren't made to last.

But the lovely lanes of Lincolnshire

Lead back into my past.

Indignity

2012-01-29T17:37:00.001+11:00

MAD KANE

http://www.madkane.com

incited me to write this vulgar limerick

She supplied the first line.

INDIGNITY

A woman was trying to lead

A dog of a very smart breed

When the dog got the urge

And rushed up the verge

Cocked its leg up a tree and then pee-ed.

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WAZZAT?

It slid quietly down the stairs

And settled itself on the carpet.

It was multicoloured,

Flat, throbbing with life,

And infinitely strange.

The boy looked at it fearfully.

"Wozzat?'

'Don't be afraid!' I chortled.

'It's only sunlight!'

But the boy knew better than I did.

He knew that he was face to face with magic.

He knew he was right to be afraid.

I saw in him a man of ancient times

Trying to make sense of it all.

Positioning rocks to capture the sun

On Midsummer's Day.

The echo of my voice

Sounded banal.

'It's only sunlight!'

The echo of his two-year-old voice

Sounded aware,

Worshipful.

'Wozzat?'

My Motto

2012-01-29T17:10:00.001+11:00

POETIC BLOOMINGS

http://poeticbloomings.com

asks for an original motto

MY MOTTO

Try it! Pretend

Everyone is your friend!

It may not be true but you'll find

That this odd little ruse

Will give rise to good news.

It helps to try tricking your mind.

*
I suppose the actual motto is
'Pretend everyone is your friend'.

But please don't let this be true!

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FAMOUS (?) LAST WORDS

I'd love to astound everyone by saying my last words in rhyme!

Dear one and all,
Don't stand and bawl
Because I'm on my way.
Dear treasured friend,
Life has to end;
Night always follows day.
Remember Mum,
In days to come,
As one who did her best.
I'm nackered now!
I'll take a bow.
I deserve a damn good rest!
*

Eye-Opener

2012-01-29T16:38:00.000+11:00

TODAY'S FLOWERS

http://flowersfromtoday.blogspot.com

EYE-OPENER!

A gardener, I am not.

I shove things in a pot

And they either grow or, usually, they don't.

Some manage to survive,

And even, sometimes, thrive,

But the exercise is always 'will or wont'.

Above, see an example,

A local gardener's sample,

Of lilies (well, at least I think they are.)

They were growing in profusion,

Much to my confusion,

Whereas my poor thing was drooping, below par.

Yes, one lily, that is all,

Standing near the garden wall,

Hide-bound in something tolerably ceramic.

A teeny little bloom,

Hardly worth house-room,

And not in any way large or dynamic.

I hadn't realised

That they could be large-sized!

I thought that they were pot-plants, nothing more!

And then I saw this bevy,

All flowering and top-heavy!

One day I'm going to study gardening lore!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

STOP PRESS!

THE POSSE

A Prime Minister on the run!

And she wasn't the only one!

An Aboriginal group was giving chase!

We all found it quite amazing

To see all this hell-raising

For Australia's a pretty docile place!

Now we're learning of intrigue!

Were the Laborites in league?

Is there more to learn about this odd disgrace?

All this silly cut and thrust

Leaves most of us nonplussed.

For some Machiavellian insights watch this space!

En Masse

2012-01-29T14:10:00.001+11:00

Edvard Munch

SATURDAY CENTUS

http://jennymatlock.blogspot.com

gave us the words in blue

EN MASSE

(Not autobiographical!)

'We know where the bodies are buried'!

I am fixed with a gimlet eye.

There is no point in being defensive!

I wont even try.

The life of a serial killer

Is always fraught with risk,

And here is a policeman

Who seems efficiently brisk.

I started my spree as a young man,

And I'm now ninety-five.

Thanks to me, a lot of folk

Are now dead, that were alive!

It was a sort of hobby,

And I had lots of fun

Thinking-up new methods

For each and every one.

A 'modus operandi'

Was something I never had,

And now they've finally tracked me down,

That makes me rather glad.

I never had a nickname

Like that 'Unabomber' chap;

I varied my operations

In case of a mishap.

I admit that it was tricky.......

Five hundred variations;

I flatter myself that I did it,

Despite the complications.

Even now, the police aren't certain

That I'm their wanted man.

They want to get inside my head.....

Good luck with that plan!

'We know where the bodies are buried.'

Rubbish! They haven't a clue!

I'm feeling really sorry

For all they're going through.

It'll take five years, for certain,

Till they work the whole thing out.

I always planned to live to a hundred.

I'll do it, without a doubt!

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ZAFTIG

Oh what a zaftig lady!

And oh what a charming tale!

'The Number One Detective Agency'

Is one that will never stale.

The books were so delightful

And now the TV version

Is carrying us to Botswana.....

A succulent excursion.

Precious doesn't mind being zaftig;

In fact she revels in it;

Sometimes it causes laughter,

And she's the one to begin it.

She's proud, she's strong, she's funny;

She is loved by everyone.

She's brown, she's smart, she's attractive,

All under the African sun.

She relishes being zaftig,

As everybody should,

Being zaftig is being plump

And, sometimes, plump is good.

Reactions Required!

2012-01-29T11:03:00.000+11:00

BLACK AND WHITE

REACTIONS REQUIRED!

All you have to do to win the prize

Is give me your reactions, in this wise:

How do you react to the above illustration?

Does it fill you with despair or with great elation?

Comment, simply, in a line or two,

And I will reveal what I can do.

Your response will reveal to me

Your underlying personality!

Yes! I make that solemn claim!

To miss this chance would be a shame.

And the prize presented to the winning entry,

Be you peasant or landed gentry,

Will be a reprint on 'Rinkly Rimes.'

Golly! These are exciting times!

--------------------------------------------------------------------

UP-SETTING!

He was a Hillbilly father, in town with his little son;

Neither of them had much idea how city things were done.

They chanced upon an elevator and the boy said 'Dad,

I've never seen a thing like that! Are you sure it isn't bad?'

The father said 'To find out we'll keep watch on the door.

We'll wait until it opens up then we'll know much more.'

A portly lady ambled up; she was old, her hair was grey.

She pressed the button marked as 'UP' in a very casual way.

She went inside; the door was closed. The father was perplexed.

He said 'I can't imagine what's going to happen next.'

Well, after a while the elevator came back, again, to the ground.

And father and son stood watching with eyes all big and round.

The door slid open and my goodness, what a great surprise!

A beautiful luscious blonde appeared right before their eyes!

She was young and sweet and pretty and only about eighteen!

She'd gone in as a Granny and come out as a Movie Queen!

Father and son were astounded. Open-mouthed they looked at each other!

Then Dad said 'Run to our hotel room!

I want you to fetch your mother!'

Indubitably

2012-01-29T09:05:00.000+11:00

CARRY ON TUESDAY

http://carryontuesdayprompt.blogspot.com

asks us to use the final words from

Margaret Mitchell's 'Gone With The Wind', in blue.

INDUBITABLY!

What a trite little statement to receive world-wide acclaim!

To be so often quoted and agreed to!

'Tomorrow is another day'!

I've quoted it myself,

Often when I really didn't need to!

What if it said ' Tomorrow will be exactly like today'?

Now that would be a statement to amaze!

What if tomorrow replicated everything here and now?

What if we had two truly matching days?

We'd wake up on the second day with 'Here we go again',

Quite overwhelmed by an awful deja vu,

Remembering the insults or the queuing or the rain,

That once again we'd all be going through.

We wouldn't feel excitement at the possibilities,

Because we'd know they weren't going to appear.

We'd already know the coming day would have it's share of joys

But, we'd also know that it would be austere.

But that isn't going to happen, because a brand new day

Is always 'another', that's the reason why

Scarlett O'Hara's statement is a load of balderdash,

Even though it brought a tear to every eye!

After all, she had to say something before the credits rolled

And 'Look on the bright side' is a trifle trite.

But one thing Scarlett could rely on.....

She would definitely be proved right!

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WRITTEN TO ANNOY YOU!

I'm one of those annoying people who wakes up feeling bright!

I'm quite refreshed, nearly always, after a restful night.

I don't look like this lady I hasten to admit,

But I do reflect her attitude more than a little bit.

As the sun peeps into the bedroom I yawn and stretch and say,

' I feel ready for anything Life can throw at me today!'

But my come-uppance comes in the evening, when I literally droop;

When all my morning energy has simply flown the coop!

I'm a terrible party-pooper! I keep on thinking of bed!

'Dance all night'? I think not! I want to sleep all night instead!

I'd like to tell you more about the hours that I keep,

But I just haven't got the energy.

It's already time for sleep!

Didgeridoo

2012-01-29T07:24:00.000+11:00

DIDGERIDOO!

At the local market he sits and plays;

He plays the didgeridoo,
An Aboriginal instrument
That's mastered by very few.
Circular breathing is required;
That's tricky, without a doubt.
You have to learn to breathe in with your nose
While your mouth is breathing out!
This makes the continuous droning sound,
With never a pause for air!
It's very hard, though you may find
You end up playing with flair!
Below see the instructions;
You'll learn, without a doubt.
But only males can play didgeridoos,
So I fear that cuts me out!
*
Practice Exercises

Exercise 1: Fill your mouth with water and push a stream of water out using only your tongue and cheek muscles. Make sure not to use any pressure from the lungs to help. Stay relaxed and breathe in and out with your nose while making the stream. Keep trying until it feels very comfortable. This is a good exercise to do in the shower!

Exercise 2: Get a straw and a cup of water. Twist the end of the straw so that almost no air can come out. Push air through the straw and into the water creating bubbles. Breathe in and out with your nose while doing this as in exercise 1. Keep the pressure even and the flow of bubbles smooth.

Exercise 3: Slowly transition to just breathing in with your nose and keep the bubbles going nonstop. Master this until the muscle contractions you are using feel totally comfortable and the bubbles are flowing smoothly.

Exercise 4: You are now circular breathing. Keep your cup and straw right next to you. Try to play your didge and circular breathe (it is just a bigger straw). You will find this difficult so go right back to the straw and water to practice again. Then, try on the didge again. Keep going back and forth between the cup and water and the didge until you can successfully do it on your didge.

*
----------------------------------------------------------

GUESS THE GHOST

It was the day I disappeared.

And it happened outside the Library!

Passing by,

I saw the imposing couple

In the foyer.

A photo opportunity

Presented itself!

Reflection, shade, comparison,

All were suggested.

The green trees,

The threatening shadows,

The sheen of glass.

And I would be there!

The fat little photographer

Caught in the act!

Click!

It would be amusing!

Later, I viewed my work.

There they were,

The long-armed couple

With their featureless features.

Welcoming?

Or barring the way

To the world of literature?

There they were,

The lush green trees in the park,

Preening themselves

Against the blue.

But where was I?

Nowhere!

So it will be, eventually.

The monuments will be standing firm.

The foliage will be growing brightly.

But don't waste your time

Looking for me.

I will have disappeared.

King Charles and Winston

2012-01-28T22:19:00.000+11:00

Daryl Edelstein.

WEEKEND PHOTO SESSION

http://withrealtoads.blogspot.com/

supplied the illustration

KING CHARLES AND WINSTON

King Charles and Winston were the best of friends,

They lived in the best of styles;

Often enjoying holidays

Or nights out on the tiles.

And it was Winston who first declared

'Why don't we buy a car?

Then we wont have to walk to the cinema

Or down to the nearest bar.'

King Charles replied 'What a great idea!

I fancy an Italian job;

I know they're pretty expensive,

But we've both got a few bob.'

So they bought the latest model,

And two red collars too,

And they set-off in their vehicle

With everything spanking new.

Lo and behold! At the corner,

They were stopped by the police,

Who said ' We've had enough of you.

This behaviour must cease!

You're always getting drunk in bars

And stealing other dogs' wives!

Why don't you settle-down a bit

And lead proper canine lives?

Stay at home in the evenings

And read each other's blogs!'

And the boys replied in unison

We can't read! We're only dogs!'

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

COMPATIBILITY CHECK

ARIES and VIRGO

Tidy drawers and cupboards; everything just so.

With Virgo saying 'Yes' to this, and Aries saying 'No!'

It doesn't look too promising; you’ll see, on looking back,

That Aries was impulsive; Virgo hadn’t got the knack.

At first your differences had charm and you thought them quite a boon,

But the positive and negative can’t survive the honeymoon.

Opposites attract each other when you're first aquainted

But soon the 'first fine rapture' dies and what is left is tainted.

Initially, the Leo spark seemed something to brag about,

But later Virgo’s carping and all Aries does is shout.

Aries has quite a temper; Virgo is a scold.

I really think you should avoid the bit about 'have and hold'!

Virgo likes a schedule; Aries can't be on time,

And every bit of tardiness is treated as a crime!

Virgo likes to keep to rules; Aries can't abide them.

The flaws are just so obvious you’ll simply never hide them!

Leo and Aries, have some fun; enjoy that initial 'Wow!'

Then turn around and walk away

Before you have a row!

Invincible

2012-01-28T18:28:00.001+11:00

GRANDMA'S GOULASH
http://grandmas-goulash.info
supplied the illustration for a VERY brief story

INVINCIBLE

Hands in pockets,young and free.

Whistling a song! What's this I see?

Hell's Bells! A great big oak!

Over the handle-bars! That's no joke!

(140 characters)

---------------------------------------------------------------

SLAP-DASH!

Ruby Smith was eighty-five but spritely for all that,

And, Marlene, her daughter, found her trying-on a brand new hat.

'Where are you off to, Mother?' Marlene then enquired

For Mother had been gadding ever since she had retired!

'I've got a date!' Mother giggled, 'With our next-door neighbour, Hugh!'

And Marlene remonstrated 'Mother! He's ninety-two!'

'He's good for his age' said Ruby 'At least, I hope he is!

Let's hope his glass of vintage wine hasn't lost all its fizz!'

'Oh, Mother! You are awful!' Marlene looked askance.

This Mother of hers for years and years had led her a merry dance!

'Are you going out for afternoon tea?' Marlene wanted to know.

'Not on your life!' said Ruby. 'We'll have dinner and see a show!'

'Well, I'll be waiting-up for you' said her daughter, 'You wont be late.

After all nothing much will happen on a geriatric date!'

At three a.m. poor Marlene was still playing the waiting game,

When Mother burst in, crying! She was sobbing as she came!

'Have you had a really awful time?' Marlene was quick to say;

'Well, don't get upset about it; there's always another day.'

Ruby said 'It was awful! My evening was a disgrace!

Three times! Three times, my darling, I had to slap his face!'

'Don't tell me he got fresh with you! I can't believe it's true!

Not with you at eighty-five and him at ninety-two!'

'It was really quite embarrassing' finally Ruby said.

'I had to slap his face because I thought that he was dead!'

Gazing

2012-01-28T17:53:00.000+11:00

Brenda Bryant

WEEKEND REFLECTIONS

http://weekendreflection.blogspot.com/

WATERY WEDNESDAY

http://waterywednesday.blogspot.com

GAZING

Creatures made of flesh and blood often say they 'gaze';

But cherubs, made of sculptured stone see life in different ways.

A human being gazes for, maybe, one whole second,

If something really wonderful or horrible has beckoned.

They widen eyes and stand agape, as though they're turned to stone,

But cherubs gaze in a different way, that humans have never known.

Cherubs gaze for eternity, while holding-up a dish;

They see a view of reflected trees or maybe a passing fish.

They think the sky is watery, with fish up in the air;

They think that trees grow downwards, a view that we don't share.

Pity these little cherubs who have to spend their days,

Back-to-back with each other, with nothing to do but.........gaze.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

SLANGING MATCH!

A Poem using slang.

When I woke up this-morning

And made an attempt to blog,

I found the computer had problems

(Maybe a minor cog!)

Well, I had a conniption fit right there!

How dare it be so janky!

What a way to start the day!

My! Did I feel cranky!

I fiddled here, I fiddled there,

Much fortified by gin!

And in the end I took it

And kicked it in the bin!

'Scooch!' I yelled, with vehemence;

'Get going! On your way!'

So that is why I cannot write

A poem for today!

Mystery Photograph

2012-01-28T11:41:00.000+11:00

THE WEEKEND IN BLACK AND WHITE

http://blackandwhiteweekend.blogspot.com

MYSTERY PHOTOGRAPH

A strange shot for a memento!

A female on a roof!

But it brings back happy memories

And the following is proof.

I went to Teachers' College

In Brighton, by the sea,

Which occupied old terraces,

Of the type known as Regency.

(Those of you knowing Brighton

Will know the association

With the Prince Regent of the time,

The buffoon of the nation.)

Our bedrooms were cramped and stuffy,

But up among the tiles,

From whence the views were dazzling;

We could see miles and miles.

When we did our studying

We climbed to chimney height

And lolled around on the roof-tops

As any tom-cat might.

A funny un-focussed picture,

But photos such as these,

Which will never win any prizes,

Evoke great memories.

An old post-card of the era, showing the view from our cat-walk. Note the 'heavy' traffic!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

IN PERSPECTIVE

Consider size if you will.

That great moon

That illuminated

All your youthful follies;

That ballooned over you in majesty

And filled your sky;

That squeezed the blackness of night

Into the dusty corners

Of the universe.....

Is a speck!

Against the azure firmament

It is a mere morsel,

A pea,

A pin-head

A little dot of dust.

Easily lost.

Easily overlooked.

Compared to a planet

It is nothing!

So what are we?

We who gasp at the 'huge' moon,

Who bathe in its harvest splendour,

Who are certain it fills the sky?

We are less than

A pea,

A pin-head

Or a dot of dust!

Why!

It is almost Biblical!

Opening Gambit

2012-01-28T03:56:00.001+11:00

MIXED BAG
http://withrealtoads.blogspot.com/
asks for a poem involving conversation

OPENING GAMBIT

'Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?'

It seemed a really clever thing to say.

Now here I have to make a true confession.

I was out to make a really good impression.

I'd seen her several times and thought her tasty

But I knew I couldn't win if I were hasty.

An opening gambit had to be just right.........

Now, luckily, at school I was quite bright.

In English I was always best in class.

I got distinctions, others a mere pass.

So why not use my mastery of words

To get little toe-in with the birds.

I used my Richard Burton voice to say

'Shall I compare thee to a summers day?'

Her answer, when it came, was quite a blow!

She simply sort of winced and answered

'No'.

--------------------------------------------------------------

DAHLING!

I was driving to the supermarket one day just last week

When I ran into an old school-friend and I slowed down to speak.

I hadn't seen that friend of mine since nineteen sixty three.

And I have to say she really shattered my equinamity!

She was slim and she was gorgeous! Her skin was smooth and creamy;

Her hair was blond and full of bounce; her eyes were soft and dreamy.

She wore high heels, showing off her legs, which were elegant and slim;

Her waistline, clinched by a narrow belt, was wonderfully trim!

Her clothes looked most expensive, yes, in the latest styles.

I could only guess at her husband's job; it was clear that he earned piles!

Her neck was quite unblemished, not a wrinkle, not a scar,

You could see, from the way she twinkled, that she knew she was a star.

'You haven't changed a bit' she said, no doubt with her fingers crossed!

I felt my 'Thanks a lot' response held more than a touch of frost.

Yes, I ran into an old school-friend and it caused me so much pain,

That I revved up the old Toyota

And ran into her again!

*

---------------------------------------------------------------------
PS

We tried-out a new cafe for afternoon tea yesterday, after our rehearsal (which, incidentally, wasn't the best). This was the Carwash Cafe. I'd never heard of it. It's just the cafe attached to the local car-wash. (Malcolm washes ours.) I think it came into being as a place to relax while the experts washed the car, but other people use it and it's really very pleasant. This photo is for Pam and Joy, who check-out my blog sometimes.

Joy, Ros, Pam, Yvonne and Betty

The Book of Me

2012-01-27T22:58:00.001+11:00

FREE WRITE FRIDAY
http://magicinthebackyard.wordpress.com
gave us the idea

THE BOOK OF ME

If, one day when I am dead,

'The Book of Me' could be duly read

It wouldn't be a Horror Story,

With lots of crime and rather gory.

It wouldn't be a Book of Jokes,

With rollicking fun for other folks.

It wouldn't be a Mystery;

I'm transparent and plain to see.

It wouldn't be a Recipe Book;

I'm not a person who likes to cook.

It wouldn't be a 'How To' guide;

That I'm ham-fisted can't be denied.

It would be a book of This and That;

Collected anecdote and chat.
*

My success would not be stellar;

I wouldn't be a World Best-Seller!

------------------------------------------------------------------

KEEP SMILING!

The British have 'stiff upper lips'; they're good at fortitude.

They treat decapitation as a little interlude!

See how this jolly fellow smiles! He's definitely British!

The more he's pierced and knifed and cut the more he's growing skittish!

His foot's on fire! He's lost both legs! And his arms aren't too secure!

As for his head, it's been attacked by something like a skewer!

I see he's hanging by the neck! No wonder he's kaput!

His insides seem to be falling out! And a nail has pierced his foot!

I see there are 'illustrations'! I bet they're pretty gory!

'Read all about it!' Yes, indeed!

It's the gaping-inside story!

The Ruby Heart

2012-01-27T18:38:00.000+11:00

WRITING IN THE BUFF
http://www.writinginthebuff.net/
chose the cover

Would this blurb entice you to buy this book?

THE RUBY HEART

Les Jenkins

(The male author who thinks like a woman!)

Her mother had named her Erotica.

No-one was surprised.

Erotica's Mother,

Whose name was, unfortunately,

Enid,

Was fascinated by the subject.

Erotica grew up

Dumpy,

Beige,

Bespectacled.

Her unfortunate name

Made her the butt of jokes.

Erotica loved gardening.

Her vegetables were enjoyed by all.

She had no time for flowers.

Until.......

One day,

She is drawn, inexplicably,

To a great crimson globe of a blossom.

It grows, on its own,

In the centre of her

Onion bed.

Magic is afoot!

Erotica finds herself shrinking,

Shrinking,

Drawn into the great dark centre.

You must read the book to discover what goes on

On 'the other side.'

When she emerges

She has changed completely!

You will marvel

At her experiences!

Erotica becomes

Erotic!

*
(Sold in a plain brown paper package. Banned in Little Throgmorton.)

The Onion Growers Weekly; letters to the Editor. How dare you suggest that there is anything more exciting than gardening! I shall withdraw my subscription immediately! Worzle Gummage.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

LOGIC!

Mary-Lou was badgering her father for a car.
'Please, Dad, please!' she went on. You know how young girls are.
'All the other girls have cars and I'm the odd one out!
Tell me one good reason why I have to do without!'
'What have you got two feet for?' cried Dad; 'For goodness sake.......'
She said 'One for the accelerator; the other one for the brake!'
*

Nosey

2012-01-27T10:51:00.002+11:00

SKYWATCH

NOSEY

It's pressing its nose against my window,

Crying its tears all down my pane,

Beetling its brows and crying its thunder!

Will the sun ever shine again?

----------------------------------------------------------

PLAYMATE

A shadow on the playroom floor;

I wonder what it came there for.

Stretching lazily as if to say

'Look at me! I'm here to play'.

Use me as a road for cars;

Ramps for rockets bound for Mars!

Tell me I'm a track for trains;

Or a runway for your planes.

I'm here! I'm here! Look at me! I'm great!

Play with me! I can hardly wait!'

But then some clouds rubbed the shadow out!

Oh well, they'll just do without!

The Uphill Road

2012-01-27T06:08:00.001+11:00

POETS UNITED

http://poetryblogroll.blogspot.com

supplied the topic.... 'Road'

THE UPHILL ROAD

'Does the road wind uphill all the way?

Yes, to the very end.' *

And a good stout pair of walking shoes

Is something I recommend.

The road is certainly not for wimps

Who quickly get out of puff;

There's no let-up from the uppiness

And that makes things quite tough.

This road is designed for walkers

Who never need a rest,

For, sure enough, more road will appear

When you think you've reached the crest.

You hope for a gentle incline

That will give you some relief,

But no! The dratted upwardness

Is quite beyond belief.

For sure the wind will be bitter.

For sure it will pour with rain.

Better roll over in your bed

And go to sleep again.

* With apologies to Christina Rossetti

--------------------------------------------------------------------

ASPIRATION

We aim for the stars

But our own earth detains us

Maybe for ever.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

The Tryst

2012-01-27T05:38:00.001+11:00

WE WRITE POEMS

THE TRYST

I suppose Todd's 'a good provider' but that's as far as it goes.

Look at him lying snoring! The picture of sweet repose!

I wait until he's fast asleep....he goes out like a light...

And then I keep an eye on the clock; the timing must be right.

Ah! Twelve forty-five exactly! Time for a lovers' tryst!

Now is the time, precisely, for the ceiling to be kissed!

I know that Rupert's on the floor of the bedroom up above.

And it's Rupert, yes, it's Rupert, that I so dearly love!

His dull old wife if snoozing, no doubt she's snoring too.

Rupert says she's the sex-appeal of an old and worn-out shoe.

We meet each day in the office; he sometimes squeezes my knee.

But we know that our glorious romance can never really be.

I couldn't afford this apartment, if Todd and I ever parted.

Is it any wonder that I feel so down-hearted?

And Rupert can't leave Marianne; she's got a heart condition;

His hands are tied and I understand his delicate position.

So this is our moment of romance, me perching on the bed

And Rupert spread out on the floor of the bedroom overhead!
With only floor-boards between us it's truly titillating!
You can't imagine the thrill I get from this nightly levitating!

It isn't much of a romance; not like the ones on TV,

But ours is an 'Unrequited Love' and that's how it's got to be.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

IN A MINORITY

I have the reputation of being rather strange

But, even so, I tell you now, I'm not about to change.

I don't like social kissing! I think it's insincere;

I really feel uncomfortable when pursed-up lips appear.

I know the French are into it and I think they're to blame

For the widespread kissing habit which I just think is lame.

Brits saw it at the cinema and thought it continental;

And now they're aping Parisian chic, all pseudo-sentimental.

It's even reached Australia, the home of the rugged male!

It's become so unoriginal that it's getting really stale.

The left-then-right is automatic; not a scrap of emotion;

Sometimes people kiss the air! A very peculiar notion!

My friends all know I'm 'agin it' and leave me well alone.

This gives me the reputation for having a heart of stone.

I think a gaze into someone's eyes and a firm grip of someone's hand

Sends an affectionate message that all can understand.

I only know when I'm approached something inside me squirms,

And that's before I've given a thought to the breeding of fresh germs!

I took a poll on the subject earlier on today,

And I then looked-up to ascertain what most responses say.

It turns out the habit is disliked by 15% of folk!

So I'm not as odd as people say!

Stop treating me as a joke!

Where Are You Now?

2012-01-27T05:20:00.000+11:00

WHERE ARE YOU NOW?

A little mining town called Gwanda,

Buried in Africa's heart.

There I taught in the local school;

I'd only just made a start.

The country was Rhodesia

Which now has another name;

Now it's called Zimbabwe

And things aren't quite the same.

Not a single black child in my roll-call,

(Indians were 'honorary' Whites);

And, oddly, in the nineteen fifties,

We weren't too aware of 'rights'.

I was fresh out from London,

Intoxicated by the sun,

Very aware of a cast-off past

And a new life just begun.

Felicity is at my right knee;

She lives in the Isle of Man,

And we correspond with each other

As often as we can.

'Flick' is a Granny herself now

I can scarcely believe that's true.

As for the other children,

I wonder 'Where are you?'

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

INDIRECTION

Ask them to smile as they're sitting in their places!

They'll purse up their lips or pucker-up their faces.

Some will look 'practised', others rather shy;

Some of them will blush, though I can't think why!

But catch them indirectly and what do I see?

Ladies of the afternoon, chattering at tea.

The Burst Bubble

2012-01-26T09:09:00.000+11:00

THREE WORD WEDNESDAY

http://www.threewordwednesday.com

asks us to use the three words in blue

THE BURST BUBBLE

I lumber out of bed, feeling a total wreck,

As though I have a millstone tied around my neck.

I feel as though I'm wading through mud in heavy boots;

I feel just like a flower pulled up by the roots.

What happened to that bubble I floated in last night?

What happened to that feeling of romance and delight?

What was her name, for goodness sake? And where is she now?

I'll never have another drink in my whole life!

I vow!

------------------------------------------------------------------

THE BLUE HOLE OF BELIZE

Unknown to generations before us

It gazed, unblinking, at the sky.

Only from the air is it visible,

That great impossible eye.

Sailors may have guessed at it,

As they crossed the ocean wide,

But they never saw it as we do,

Entire, and side to side.

I wonder if we appreciate

The wonders that we see,

All brought about by modern life

And bold technology.

Now even I can see it,

From the comfort of my chair,

And I can marvel at the fact

That the hole is even there!

I can even dive way into it,

And find the caves below,

All with TV cameras

Putting on a show.

I'm blessed with imagination,

As so, I hope, are you,

And, with such a wonderful gift,

There's nothing we can't do.

We can swoop from blue to turquoise,

We can dive to darkest black,

We can glide through high cathedrals

And then we can rise back

Into the world of sunlight,

To feel the salt-sea breeze,

Rejoicing in the memory

Of the Blue Hole of Belize.

Companionable Silence

2012-01-26T07:32:00.000+11:00

BLACK AND WHITE

COMPANIONABLE SILENCE

I don't know about you, but I often lapse

Into the little world of 'perhaps'.

When I see a scene like this

I ask 'Is this a scene of bliss

Or something rather less appealing,

Involving that old boredom feeling?

Of course, they may not know each other.

Of course, they could be sister and brother.

They may be glancing above their books,

Giving each other 'come-hither' looks!

One of them may just feel disdain

Thinking 'Oh no! Not him again!'

Or are they a couple of long-standing

Leading a life that's undemanding.

'Let's go to the top deck and have a read;

Peace and quiet is what we need.'

They may be a wildly passionate couple

In the cabin! All young and supple!

No, on second thoughts, I doubt it;

I'm inclined to think they do without it!

I don't know about you, but I often lapse

Into the little world of 'perhaps'.

---------------------------------------------------------------

MY LIPS ARE SEALED!

Well, Little Petal! How are you?

Bet you've heard a thing or two!

Come on! Spill the beans, my dear!

Tell me something I'd like to hear!

It will never be revealed!

I promise you, my lips are sealed!

Hopeless Task

2012-01-25T22:21:00.002+11:00

POETIC BLOOMINGS

http://poeticbloomings.com

We are asked to compose a

QUATERN.

This is a French form, involving sixteen lines and repeating the opening line in each of four stanzas.

HOPELESS TASK

This is all we'll ever know..........

That we know, truly, not a thing.

Our lives are transient as the snow,

Which fades away at the breath of Spring.

We know a trace of this and that;

This is all we'll ever know.

We guess at what we're looking at;

And get a hint before we go.

Our piles of clever volumes grow,

Their pages numbered endlessly.

This is all we'll ever know;

We gaze and gaze but can't quite see.

When we look out upon the stars

We're merely dazzled by the show.

We try to pickle them in jars.

This is all we'll ever know.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

NEWS FLASH

CAVOODLE

If your mistress is Prime Minister you get above yourself

And think that you can gate-crash anywhere!

Today she was performing in the way Prime Ministers do,

When, suddenly, her puppy-dog was there!

It was a solemn moment, full of pageantry and flags,

For tomorrow it will be Australia Day,

But Reuben, her cavoodle, didn't stand on ceremony.

'There's Mum' he said 'I think it's time for play.'

Silhouette

2012-01-25T18:40:00.000+11:00

SENSATIONAL HAIKU WEDNESDAY

http://youknowthatblog.com

SILHOUETTE

Featureless and black,

Outlined against a bright light.

Only shape remains.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

CHILDREN'S HOUR

Two small words to conjour with......two words..... just 'Children's Hour';

A tiny phrase that hardly seems to speak with any power.

For what could be more gentle than the scene you see above,

A delightful motherly picture, embued with parental love?

Between the dark and the daylight, when the shadows began to creep,

The children were read a story, before they went to sleep.

These days, when the night is beginning, life is hardly the same!

The modern child will be occupied with the latest computer game!

The parents are certainly not relaxed! They've exhausting occupations!

And when evening comes there is no pause! Life's full of complications!

No time to lower the lamps to dim or cuddle on the settee,

No time to devote a whole long hour to home and family!

But wait! This picture also recalls a time when the Ma and Pa,

Were often very distant souls, only seen from afar!

In high-class families Nannies lurked, ready to whisk away

That dear little girl who only saw her Mother once a day!

Not for them the hurly-burly, that is known, world-wide, right now!

Not for them the spat, the laugh, the hasty kiss, the row!

In days gone by, there was a lack, as far as I can see

Distance lends enchantment!

Enjoy your family!

Water, Water Everywhere

2012-01-25T13:07:00.000+11:00

WATERY WEDNESDAY

http://waterywednesday.blogspot.com

WATER, WATER EVERYWHERE

Water, water everywhere, yes, even from the sky,

For this is a wet summer in a land that's often dry.

But here you see the Hunter River, with coal ships out and in,

And, beyond, there is the ocean, where wild waves make a din.

Watery places everywhere, and we are so glad of them.

Lake and river, ocean too. We absolutely love them.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

ONLY THE BEST

I eat at the very best restaurants, where the food is completely divine.
And, today, I found a new place where I could go to dine.
The chefs were Max and Harry and the food was plasticine
And the plates were delightful colours, blue and red and green.
Harry made me sausages, complete with tomato sauce
And Max cooked me a little pink fish, ocean-fresh, of course.
Max also gave me ice-cream on a lovely crimson plate
And Harry's neat banana dish was absolutely great.
Outside it was raining but who cares about rain
When one finds the perfect restaurant?
I think I'll go there again.
*

Boa! Constrict Her!

2012-01-25T06:28:00.001+11:00

ABC WEDNESDAY

http://abcwednesday-mrsnesbitt.blogspot.com/

BOA! CONSTRICT HER!

It could have been a bad mistake,

Naming a scarf after some old snake!

And not just any mild creepy crawler!

The one they chose was a deathly mauler!

Having designed a scarf from feathers.....

'Warmth and elegance in all weathers.'......

They chose a name from the deepest jungle!

Surely that could have been a bungle.

Victorian ladies were prone to faint,

Something we consider rather quaint.

There was every chance that they'd swoon away

And then there would have been hell to pay!

'A boa constrictor! What an allusion!'

And then there would have been such confusion....

'When it's coiled round under my chin,

You can't imagine the state I'm in!

I feel it tightening bit by bit!

I think I'm going to have a fit!'

The designer could have been blamed and sued

(Though in those old days people weren't so rude.)

My theory is that the boa's creator

Was secretly a woman-hater.

He'd been leading a ghastly life

With a harridan as a wife.

He'd designed the scarf with a view to death,

Intending to squeeze out all her breath.

But she said 'Trala!' and went to the shops

Where all the shoppers pulled out the stops,

Oohing and aahing in admiration

At this feathery-fine creation.

'It's a boa constrictor' the wife declared,

And found the shoppers not one whit scared.

They were then produced commercially,

And now they're my theme for the letter 'B'.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

The tiles in my son's kitchen

MOODY BLUES

Sometimes I'm drawn to symmetry; sometimes I like a riot,

A scene of crazy dissonance, a dazzle of unquiet.

Sometimes it gives me pleasure when patterns stand in line;

Sometimes a whirligig of hues seems absolutely fine.

I wonder if psychologists consider this attraction;

These quite opposing decorations giving satisfaction.

I'm feeling rather low today so is that why I choose

These tiles? Is there security in these, my Moody Blues?

The Very Moment

2012-01-24T18:49:00.001+11:00

POETS UNITED

http://poetryblogroll.blogspot.com/

supplied the illustration

THE VERY MOMENT

Just think! The very moment, folks, when my life went down the gurgler!

The apple had been picked by Eve; she was the very first burglar!

Until this potent moment we had wandered in the nude,

Never thinking of sex at all and never feeling rude.

We'd gambolled, innocent as lambs, among the new-mown hay,

And, we'd been such buddies way back then, before lust got in the way.

Just think! Without erotic thoughts we'd had endless hours to chat!

We'd sat beneath the shady trees talking of this and that.

Those merry hours are a memory now. Remember we spoke of bees;

How they buzzed in the pretty flowers, and how leaves grew on trees.

Time seemed endless in those days, following our pursuits;

Playing with the butterflies, the possums and the newts.

But then Eve was disobedient, encouraged by the snake;

She went up to the apple tree and gave a branch a shake.

Down fell the fatal apple; the scales fell from our eyes

And our mutual nudity took us utterly by surprise!

Oh woe is me that my innocence died on that fatal day!

It was when I saw Eve naked that I saw she had feet of clay!

------------------------------------------------------------------------

ON BEING SAFE

I have never felt safe in my adult life!

Safety is an illusion.

Dangers have beset my way

Sometimes in profusion.

I have lived my eighty years

In a constant state of dread!

Will Ebola reach these shores?

What's that under the bed?

I fear I am a pessimist;

I always fear the worst!

The sun may shine on my perfect life

But, undoubtedly, I am cursed!

Is that pimple on my nose

Something I dare not mention?

Will the Government, suddenly,

Remove my old age pension?

Is the man in front of me in the line

A member of a gang?

Is there a bomb in this aeroplane

That will suddenly go 'Bang!'?

The World is a terrifying place;

Safety is unattainable!

What about all those fossil fuels?

Is their use sustainable?

I've lived a life that's been long and safe!

Retribution's overdue!

How can I have done so well?

How can I have struggled through?

It's all out there, the Danger!

It will get me in the end!

Safety is an illusion.

On that you can depend.

Balance

2012-01-24T06:23:00.000+11:00

THEME THURSDAY
http://www.theme-thursday.com/
chooses 'balance'

BALANCE
(An Acrostic)
Balance as you go through life;

A little joy, a little strife.

Love your food, but don't be greedy;

And seek love but don't be needy.

Never dive where it's too deep;

Caution! Look before you leap.

Enjoy this life but be aware

It will exist when you're not there.
*
----------------------------------------------------------------

NEWS FLASH

NEWT?

The American election system quite bemuses me!
A quarter of life is taken up with campaigns, literally.
Once every four years one whole year is devoted to the show!
It's a popularity contest and the entrants all have dough!
But, please, my American readers, even if he's cute (?)
Don't elect a President who has the name of Newt!
A newt's an aquatic amphibian with not a lot of brain!
I fear that other world leaders would view him with disdain.
If he were baptised 'Newton' let him use that name.
President Newt sounds terrible! Such is the price of fame.
*

Strewth!

2012-01-23T19:10:00.003+11:00

RUBY TUESDAY

http://rubytuesday2.blogspot.com

STREWTH!

I looked on Facebook and I said 'Strewth!'

When I saw a shot of Ruth

In a coat of brightest red.

'That's Ruby Tuesday stuff!' I said.

Saves me looking through my files!

A little reminder of the British Isles.

------------------------------------------------------------

COME ON, LOVE!

Lucy sat down on a park-bench, to rest her weary legs,

And up to her wandered a vagrant, the sort of man who begs.

'How about a bit of fun?' the vagrant sort of wheedled,

And Lucy, being a lady, felt positively needled.

'How dare you said Lucy, angrily, going bright red in the face,

'I have got high standards and you are a disgrace.'

'Come on, love, stop pretending' the scruffy beggar said,

'If you're not after a bit of fun why are you in my bed?'

Hidden Possibilities

2012-01-23T06:03:00.000+11:00

SUNDAY SCRIBBLINGS
http://sundayscribblings.blogspot.com
suggests 'possible'

HIDDEN POSSIBILITIES

Fascinating!

That they were there all the time.

That they were crackling through space

When the dinosaurs walked!

That prehistoric man

Was surrounded by them

In his caves!

That Galileo was immersed in them

And never noticed!

It is as though they were lying in wait.

Miracles!

Just waiting to be discovered.

In our present age they are not considered miracles.

We even cook our food with them!

So what else is there

Not yet discovered?

We judge the possibilities of

Space,

Time,

Universes,

By what we know now.

But existence

Is full of

Possibilities.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

DEADLIER THAN THE MALE!

Great, noble, yellow beast;

Predator most feared,

With your gleaming golden eyes

And your straggling beard;

With your teeth as sharp as nails

And your claws to match;

Always on the look-out

For another prey to catch.

With your roar that chills the blood,

And makes us run and hide......

What's this anomaly that I see?

You're hen-pecked by your bride!

'Did you put the garbage out?'

'Why were you home so late?'

'You always forget my birthday!'

'Call yourself a mate!'

You're even trying to run away!

Your muzzle looks quite pale!

It must be true that the female

Is deadlier than the male!

Motive for Murder

2012-01-22T19:12:00.000+11:00

The Wordle

THE SUNDAY WHIRL

http://sundaywhirl.wordpress.com

asks us to use all the words in the Wordle

MOTIVE FOR MURDER!

I'm the older of two sisters,; my name, I fear, is Maude.

My features in the mirror, are pallid, plain and broad.

My little sister, Rosalie, is pretty as can be,

And ever since that girl was born I've suffered jealousy.

Our story is the age-old one; envy has turned to hate.

And even more so since Benedict has asked her for a date.

She's crushed my dream. The scattered shards of what was once my heart

Are racking me with bitterness and tearing me apart.

Look there! I see them whispering! My instinct is to pry.

I'm ashen-faced and sorrowful and I'm sure she guesses why.

She has a knack of hurting me! Look at that mocking smile!

Though scalding tears run down my cheeks, giving-in is not my style.

I feel the urge to destroy them both. So how much will it take

To go out to his motor-car and disengage the brake?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

MAD KANE

http://www.madkane.com

gave us the first line of this limerick

A man with a very full plate,

Was so hungry he just couldn't wait!

He tossed off the lot

But the food was so hot

He simply could not masticate!

Is That All?

2012-01-22T14:08:00.000+11:00

CARRY ON TUESDAY

http://carryontuesdayprompt.blogspot.com

asks us to use the title words from the Peggy Lee song in blue

IS THAT ALL?

I don't believe in heaven; when I take my final breath

That will be the end of it. I'll never experience Death.

All the time I'm a thinking thing I shall be alive.

I'll never be aware when I, no longer, can survive.

But if there were a Heaven it would be a place

Without that disappointment that human-beings face.

We'd never say 'Is that really all? Is that all there is? Just that?'

We'd never have that let-down, when everything falls flat.

We'd never attain our heart's desire, then find there is a catch;

We'd never learn that heart's desires rarely come up to scratch.

There'd be no flies in our ointment, no niggling little doubts,

We'd never find that 'withs' aren't that much better than 'withouts'.

There'd never be that vacuum which comes on Boxing Day

When children are bored with their new toys, which all have feet of clay.

'The dust-cart follows the Lord Mayor's Show' so the old saying goes.

But, if there were a Heaven, great Shows would be greater Shows.

We would enjoy for ever the thrill of anticipation;

For ever and ever we would know limitless elation.

I can't envisage it myself; it sounds like a drug-filled dream.

Fancy the indigestion, living on clotted cream!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

NOT YET!

(A poem for children)

Goodnight Horsie! Goodnight Bear!

Time to climb the wooden stair.

Bertha has the candle lit

But I don't like it, not one bit!

Look at Donkey! He's sad too.

What will all my treasures do

When they're left downstairs alone,

Without a playmate, on their own?

Bertha doesn't understand!

She keeps tugging at my hand.

I can take my book to bed;

That is what my Mummy said,

But books don't cry, books don't feel sad.

Leaving pets makes me feel bad.

Never mind. I know, tomorrow,

We'll forget about our sorrow.

Goodnight Horsie! Goodnight Bear!

So long as you know that I still care!

Kiltish Invasion

2012-01-22T12:28:00.001+11:00

I SAW SUNDAY

http://isawsunday.blogspot.com

a little oddity from my week

KILTISH INVASION

Just a quiet afternoon in our neighbourhood;

Songs of birds were all that we could hear.

When, suddenly, the skirling started, right out of the blue;

Very Scottish! Very, very near!

No-one was parading as far as we could see!

It wasn't any special Scottish day!

They merely played a 'tune' or two, with bagpipes to the fore,

And then they, just as quickly, marched away!

-----------------------------------------------------------------

COMPATIBILITY CHECK

ARIES with LEO

Two enormous egos, battling for the top!

You'll try to gain ascendancy and keep on till you drop!

Actually, it's quite exhilarating, when the feathers fly!

You both enjoy a good old spat so it's certain you'll get by.

Both partners like a feeling of excitement in the air,

So an Aries and a Leo make a nearly perfect pair.

The chemistry is fabulous, your love-lives are supreme;

You'll never tire of each other and need a distant dream.

All physical excitement is something you both crave.

Extreme sports of every nature prove you strong and bold and brave.

You both adore the limelight, but, happily, you can share,

And you praise and support each other, a sure sign that you care.

Aries, who is stern, at times, shows a softer, gentler side,

With the romantic Leo as a warm and cuddly guide.

You both like new experiences, attacking life head-on,

Building up great memories you can look back upon.

Should you marry and have children, you’ll bring them up to be

Hikers, cyclists, swimmers, showing great agility.

But domestic life may pall a bit and lead to some regrets!

Let's hope that when you’re old you say

‘This is as good as it gets!’

Good Try!

2012-01-22T06:44:00.002+11:00

GRANDMA'S GOULASH

http://grandmas-goulash.info

supplied the prompt

GOOD TRY!

A horse who was known as Billy

Spied a divine little filly.

He yelled 'I'm here!

Please join me dear.'

Said she 'I would not be so silly!'

(140 characters)

------------------------------------------------------------------------

ORACLE OZ-STYLE

If ever you're asked about Oz

You wont be stuck because

You'll have read this Ozzicle Oracle

And be the wisest that ever there was.

There are more one-humped camels in Oz

Than anywhere else on earth.

They were brought in from places abroad

And they've spent all their time giving birth!

For every Australian that lives

There are eight sheep or possibly more.

But I've never met anyone yet

Who's bothered to check on the score.

You can write from the Barrier Reef

And stick on its own special stamp,

Although the recipient may

Find the letter a little bit damp.

The Tasmanian Devil has jaws

With the strength of a huge crocodile.

So if it looks eager to bite

Try and better the four-minute-mile!

But if you are after clean air

The cleanest on earth's in Tasmania.

So people who choose to live there

Must be wiser than you and much brainier.

In Rebecca's Garden

2012-01-22T06:23:00.000+11:00

PINK SATURDAY

IN REBECCA'S GARDEN

Clad in all its rich regalia,

In the summer in Australia,

Here we see a charming dahlia,

Opening in the sun.

Petals merge both pink and yellow,

In a scheme both bright and mellow.

Each bloom vying with its fellow

To be 'the one.'

-------------------------------------------------------------

THE LONG WHITE CLOUD

(Written before Australia's terrible floods last year!)

We visited the Land of the Long White Cloud about a year ago;

New Zealand, a land of plenty, where everything seems to grow.

Australia is often a golden brown, when drought is holding sway,

And so we love to visit that green haven 'across the way'.

A quick flight over the Tasman and we find ourselves surrounded

By fertile acres, rolling streams and fecundity unbounded.

But the Kiwis have to pay a price for all their moisty mist;

They get an awful lot of rain while we are so sun-kissed!

Here you see The Long White Cloud, which looks distinctly grey!

I'll visit that South Seas Paradise, but I don't intend to stay!

Second-Hand Glows

2012-01-21T13:52:00.003+11:00

WEEKEND REFLECTIONS

http://weekendreflection.blogspot.com/

SECOND-HAND GLOWS

(To be sung to the tune of 'Second-Hand Rose')

Second-hand Glows, Second-hand Glows,

I'm not the real thing, everyone knows.

Though I love to sparkle and to shimmer,

I'm aware that I am just a glimmer.

Up in the sky, shining on high,

The sun's to great for poor old little me.

I am a reflection from the rail overhead

I must just accept that I'm a copy instead.

Second-hand Glows; I'm one of those

From Second Avenue!

------------------------------------------------------------------------

THIN KING

Clearly George was overweight. The Dr said 'You must run

Ten miles a day for a hundred days and when all that is done

You'll be down to your perfect weight, without the slightest doubt.'

So George put on his running shoes to try the theory out.

In due course he rang the Dr saying that he was slim,

And the Dr told him, delightedly, that he was proud of him.

'I must take your measurements. Call and see me today.'

George replied 'How can I? I'm a thousand miles away!'

The Look-Out

2012-01-21T11:30:00.000+11:00

Brisbane, Australia.

SCENIC SUNDAY

http://scenicsunday.blogspot.com/

THE LOOK-OUT

Is it a trick of brain or eye

That high from high seems much more high

When we are up and looking down

On the country or a town?

From below an elevation

Seems no cause for exclamation.

Maybe Everest and the like

Cause one to gasp when on a hike,

But I have found a local hill

Doesn't hint at any thrill.

But climb it and the views become

Such as can strike the tourist dumb!

Is it because we long to be

Masters of all that we can see?

Looking up goes against the grain,

For being looked down on with disdain

Is something that we all avoid;

In fact it makes us quite annoyed.

Looking down......that's a different story!

Suddenly we're bathed in glory!

We're Masters of everything we survey.

Fields and valleys stretch away,

Houses shrink and oceans spread

And we tread where all gods must tread,

Among the clouds and elevated,

Noble, proud and celebrated.

To us all praise and power is due

When we say 'What a lovely view!'

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

PIPE DREAM

Just a big old pipe in the shadows,

Curving its way along,

Snaking over the pastures,

Far from the city's throng.

Weaving it's way through the valley

Where the Hunter River flows

Appearing to have no purpose,

Inert even as it goes.

Yet, inside, it is churning, rolling,

Inside it is in full spate,

Inside it is racing madly!

It seems that it just can't wait!

Chichester Dam gives the water

That rushes along within.

It will end in our taps tomorrow.

But it's here we see it begin.

Framed

2012-01-21T09:31:00.001+11:00

THE WEEKEND IN BLACK AND WHITE

http://blackandwhiteweekend.blogspot.com/

FRAMED

Caught in the act and unaware

That a stray photographer is there,

Catching a glimpse of other lives;

Husbands, lovers, children, wives.

An arm is raised; a head is turned;

Glances exchanged, a new name learned.

A cross-section of humanity

Sailing on a Southern sea.

Framed and frozen, perpetuated,

In an album, named and dated.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

HOO SEZ?

So hoo disides the rools?

Werds ar onle tools.

The wuns that I cre8

Ar cwite legitim8.

Providid I impart

Meening from mi hart

And I can say to yoo

Wot I'm intending to.

Orl werds were invented!

So wigh am I privented

From making up mi oan!

I'm shor I'm not aloan

In longing to bee free

And rit ecsentrikly!

I think I'l rit this way

For eva and a day!

Feeling Blue

2012-01-21T07:33:00.001+11:00

BLUE MONDAY

http://smilingsally.blogspot.com

FEELING BLUE
(After Patience Strong)

It's only by feeling blue,

As most of us sometimes do,

That we can comprehend

The joy when the blue days end.

If we were always glad,

And never, never sad,

Being 'over the moon'

Would get quite boring, soon.

If we were always cheerful,

And never, never tearful,

Never, never the least bit glum,

How boring happy would become!

It's only when the blueness shifts,

And the cloud of sadness lifts,

That we can shout aloud and say

'I am feeling great today!'

If every day were yellow and red,

And never, never blue instead,

Comparisons could not be made

And the vividness would seem to fade.

So please enjoy a miserable day.

Life was meant to be lived this way.

--------------------------------------------------------

TO BE OR NOT TO BE!

We hear each plausible theory and believe each one at the time.

Climate Change is real..... or not; it's natural or a human crime.

Each expert speaks with conviction, and has the charts to display,

Proving one case or another in a very convincing way.

For sure we humans taint the earth with our fossil fuels and such;

We seem to make an awful mess of everything we touch.

But temperatures have fallen or risen, as the case may be,

Ever since the dawning of humanity's history!

I would willingly change my ways if everyone agreed;

Then, united, we could achieve the outcome that we really need.

But do we really need it? Another Ice Age is due!

Surely warming the planet is something we should do!

I won't be around to witness the result of my lack of will;

The blazing eternal deserts, or the bitter eternal chill,

But I'd like to know the answer and even do my bit,

Even though I'll never live to see the truth of it.

Photographic Memory

2012-01-21T06:38:00.001+11:00

WEEKEND WRITERS' RETREAT
http://grandmas-goulash.info

PHOTOGRAPHIC MEMORY

Sort them, label them, pin them down, the photographs of the past.

Those little scraps of ink and card that help our memories last.

They say the camera cannot lie, but, by some alchemy,

A photograph can capture so much more than we can see.

I may be smiling broadly but I know that was the day

When someone came to say goodbye and I begged them to stay.

I may be looking solemn, but, as far as I recall,

That was taken at a party where I really had a ball.

And there I am with Ena, who was someone I couldn't stand!

Yet there we look so friendly, why we're almost hand-in-hand!

'Something' rises from the paper and the dim days of our youth

That insists on complete veracity.

Lies defeated by the truth.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

BANTLING

Poor little bantling, without a Father's name!
Always to know his wretched Mother's shame!
A bastard! What a cruel word! And what an innocent child!
By the actions of others, evermore defiled!
Today we tend to overlook the torments of the past,
The youthful mothers castigated, spat-on and out-cast.
And we forget that, often, they were 'thrown out in the snow'
To wander along the highway, with nowhere else to go.
It's not a joke of melodrama, the fate of girls back then;
It happened in an unfair world, dominated by men.
Servant girls were often 'used' and then were cast away,
Their masters just forgetting them in less than half a day.
As for the little bantling, it was evermore derided
As someone less than human, to be sneered at, to be chided.
*
Yet 'bantling' is a gentle word, unlike its counterpart;
'Bastard' is much crueler; it could strike one to the heart.
'Bantling' comes from the German; it means 'bench', a sort of seat,
On which a person can relax to rest their weary feet.
Well, it doesn't come from any old bench.....I swear that this is true!
It means a bench ....wait for it..... capable of holding two!
*
A little bit of history, with some nudge and wink thrown in!
Who knows where memes will lead us..... often into sin!'
*

The Dark Velvet Voice

2012-01-20T16:03:00.000+11:00

WRITING IN THE BUFF

http://www.writinginthebuff.net

has supplied this 'book cover'

Would this blurb encourage you to read this book?

THE DARK VELVET VOICE

Jemima Coddingly-Whirtle

Because she is blind

Sophie has always set great store

Voices.

Many a suitor

Has questioned her rejection,

Not realising that his voice

Squeaks,

Hisses,

Croaks

Or merely

'Isn't right'.

Sophie can afford to pick and choose.

After all she is

Beautiful,

Talented

And Rich.

Very rich.

She once dated

A middle-aged man

Who was balding

And growing grey at the temples,

Because he sounded like

Richard Burton.

Friends alerted her

Before she made a Big Mistake.

Now she is listening on the phone

To the most glorious male voice

She has ever heard!

Think treacle,

Think doves,

Think velvet.

'My name is Dominic'

Says the Voice.

Dominic is a villain,

And Dominic has plans for Sophie

That do not include

Love.

Read how Sophie is

Seduced by The Voice.

Learn about Dominic's evil plans.

Meet his wicked companions.

Struggle with Sophie

Through days and nights

Of terror.

Only Fergus can save her.

But Fergus has a voice like

A rusty hinge...............

The Elocution Teachers' Manual; Read this wonderful book to learn about the part played by elocution in matters of seduction; Signed Henry Higgins.

-------------------------------------------------------

PORTRAIT OF AN UNKNOWN GIRL

She looked a nice young kid, fresh-faced, with a sunny smile.

She was sitting in the sunshine, entirely without guile.

I was photographing scenery down there beside the sea,

And she looked up and laughed and said 'I dare you to take me!'

It was such an innocent request, made with a little laugh,

So, there and then, I captured her in a seaside photograph.

Her face was scrubbed and shiny, her hair in a pony-tail;

An everyday girl, she seemed to me, a casual, passing male.

As I turned to leave I questioned her; 'What's your name?' I said.

And, suddenly, I was overwhelmed with a sense of future dread.....

'My name is Norma Jean' she replied 'I'm changing it, you know.

My new name will be so pretty........

It's Marilyn Munroe.'

White Australia

2012-01-20T06:26:00.000+11:00

WHITE AUSTRALIA

My mother was three years old when this poster first appeared.

So that's not terribly long ago, yet now it seems so weird.

Australia is 'Europe' and yet it's 'Asia' too;

And the country's multicultural, so many folk are new.

'The Yellow Peril' from China was feared in those old days;

We feared that we'd be over-run by folk with 'funny' ways.

Yet now our links with China grow steadily, year by year;

Every other day it seems enormous mines appear.

In the pictures in the poster we see sheep and we see cows;

Australia was a country of just farms and fields and ploughs.

Our country is now a quarry, which many folk lament,

But, in this age of Depression, our quarry is heaven-sent.

This is the Asian Century and we're in the right place,

Though no-one knows the future and what we all may face.

A hundred years go by so fast, and one day we'll seem strange;

One thing never seems to change and that is the fact of change.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

THE CIRCUS OF LIFE.

You, already, are a member of the circus,

For life is lived with sawdust and with paint,

Your ponies gallop round and round like crazy

As you pretend to be the things you aint!

You tackle great big lions in your dealings,

You juggle different balls up in the air,

You swing from high trapezes when you're happy

And do things that you never thought you'd dare.

But you're the Sad Clown when you lose your footing,

Although your nose may be a jolly red,

And it breaks your heart when people roar with laughter

Every time you fall and bang your stupid head!

Sometimes you chance to act as the Ringmaster,

In charge of everyone, top of your game!

At other times you're mucking-out the stables,

A thousand miles away from any fame.

Yes, Life's a Circus and we all are in it;

We live our lives beneath a huge Big Top.

We're dancing to the crazy blaring music

Hoping like mad that it will never stop.

-------------------------------------------------------------

I only have three cousins left so they're very special to me. Dick and Paul are from the maternal side and Peter from the paternal. Peter and his wife, Ursula, are in Sydney at the moment, staying with their son Stephen, who is married to a Sydney girl. We met them at Hornsby today. Hornsby is on the line between Newcastle and Sydney and it seemed a convenient place to meet. Here we are enjoying lunch; Peter is on the left and Ursula is on Malcolm's right. It was delightful seeing them again after several years.

Hallo, Laura!

2012-01-19T19:13:00.000+11:00

HALLO, LAURA!

Hallo, Laura! Little pet!

Though I haven't met you yet

I can see you're a gorgeous thing

For the Carey stork to bring.

Your Grandmother is quite a dish

So be like her! That is my wish.

Syl-la-bles

2012-01-19T19:02:00.000+11:00

THE PURPLE TREE-HOUSE
http://purpletreehouse.blogspot.com
wants us to work with syllables

SYLL-A-BLES

Let

Us try

To create

A line or two

Of new poetry.

Any old thing will do.

Syllables must be counted.

Allow me to start with a few.

Then let all the syllables increase.

And when I get to ten then I will cease!

----------------------------------------------------------------

NEWS FLASH!

PROBLEM GAMBLING

Poker machines are in the news.
Should people be allowed to lose
As much as they like? Or should there be
A curb on gambling insanity?
Children go hungry, so we're told
In the insatiable search for gold.
On the other hand, clubs do good, too,
With their tremendous revenue.
There are many varying views,
As Australians see on the TV News.
*